Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
Dysfunctional Families

Susan does what she should have done immediately, and approaches Gaby about the problem between their kids. I mean, I'm not a parent or anything, but if you have a kid and your friend has a kid and they have a fight, don't you talk to the other parent instead of trying to teach your kid to do the Brazilian kung-fu cha-cha? Anyway, Susan says she just saw Juanita push MJ down and that it's not the first time; she's been bullying him. Gaby says she's sorry and she'll talk to Juanita. And then adds that Susan shouldn't worry, because no one will hear that her son is getting beaten up by a little girl from her. Susan says, "Well. A girl." Gaby asks if Susan's suggesting that Juanita's fat for her age, and Susan says, "Gaby, Juanita's fat for your age." Gaby says it doesn't matter, because MJ could get beaten up by a kitten. Susan asks Gaby to teach her daughter not to fight, and Gaby says Susan should teach her son to grow a pair. Susan walks off in a huff.

Meanwhile, Bree and Benjy are at the park. She's showing him pictures of his mom when she was his age. It just happens to be a picture of little Danielle eating a hot dog, so Benjy asks what it is and Bree tells him. When he's shocked his mom would do that, Bree gives him a long lie about how hot dogs help you grow up to be big and strong, but then when you're an adult you don't need them. He wonders why his mom doesn't want him big and strong, and Bree says maybe she's afraid he'll move away from home and play for the Red Sox. He wants to be big and play baseball, though, so the obvious happens: He eats a hot dog (that Bree had stashed somewhere on her person without him noticing it during the scene), and promises not to tell Danielle. Oh, and because he's a kid and it's a hot dog, he loves it. He says, "It's like tofu, only better."

Tom and Creepy Dave play "Smoke on the Water. Mary Alice says that Lynette tries to tell herself it's a phase, but after three hours (that's right; only three hours in and it's too much for our queen of patience, Lynette), she realizes it won't pass quickly enough, so she decides to take action. Penny (she exists in the future!) knocks over her dad's guitar in the garage, and Lynette tells her to be careful or she'll break it, then Lynette has an epiphany. She leaves the guitar and one of Penny's dolls right where Tom parks in the garage, and sure enough, he drives right over it as he's parking. Side note: We have seen band practice and then the incident with Penny knocking the guitar over and now we know he parks in there, so you'd think Lynette would find some pleasure in the fact that Tom got the garage cleaned out enough to have both a band practice area and to park his car, but she's clearly never satisfied. Anyway, she hears him run over the guitar and scream, then runs out there and asks if everything's all right. She feigns ignorance, and lets Penny take the fall. She does ask him not to be mean to Penny, but then lets him go yell at her. What a great mother. And wife.

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Desperate Housewives




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