Desperate Housewives

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Love Hurts

Mike's at the bank when Lee runs into him, and tells him that Paul Young would really like to buy their house, and is willing to make a very generous offer. Mike tells Lee that he never kicked his ass for renting their house to that guy because Lee didn't know the history. But now he does, so Mike wonders: Is Lee an idiot? (How can Mike still wonder that after all this time; of course he's an idiot.) Mike says he and Susan are working hard, and will move back the day Paul's lease is up. Lee calls Paul and tells him. Paul asks if he told him he's willing to pay above market value. Lee says he would have but didn't want to get punched. Paul says that Lee disappoints him, but he has another way to handle this. Mike deposits a check at the bank and gets his new balance. He thinks there should be a lot more money in there than there is.

Susan's crying into her jewelry box as she calls someone to find out the value of some silver bracelet that belonged to her grandmother. Lynette shows up then to return a necklace she borrowed from Susan (which Susan will probably have to sell). Susan's teary, which Lynette notices. When she goes to find Susan a tissue, Mike comes home and immediately yells at Susan about the missing $9,000 from their checking account. As he grills her on what happened to the money, Lynette comes out and says Susan let her borrow it to help cover some bills left from Paige's birth. Susan says Lynette's paying it back by Friday. Mike goes back to work, and Lynette wonders if Susan has anything to tell her. Susan does, of course, but asks Lynette to promise she won't yell. Cut to Lynette yelling, "You did porn on the internet!" Susan tries to say she was just cleaning, with no nudity or sex. Lynette says that unless they were watching for cleaning tips, it was porn. She asks what if Mike or Susan's kids find out, and Susan gets indignant about Lynette's five-bedroom house on Wisteria, and how they can't even afford hot lunches for M.J. at school. Lynette says she's done judging, and back to being a friend. She's sorry Susan had to do that. Susan cries, "Me, too." Wait. Isn't this the person who was loving it so much she was making up (and fighting over) her own moves just a couple weeks ago?

Nighttime. There's a knock at Renee's door. It's her husband, Doug, who tells her he had to see her. She says she'd invite him in, but "it's late, and I hate you." She lets him come in, where he tells her he misses her and Tina's a stupid mistake and that's over. He knows he screwed up and wants another chance. She says she's actually happy here, and is making new friends. He's skeptical that she's happy here; she was made for Manhattan. He says Cartier missed her, too, and shows her a fancy sapphire ring. She asks him not to do this, but he says he wants everything they had back; doesn't she?

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Desperate Housewives

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