Monster Tom calls Mrs. McC to apologize for being a nasty, nasty man. She reluctantly forgives him, and when she hangs up the phone, she gleefully, and rather sweetly, reports the good news of Tom's apology to dead husband Gilbert. Mrs. McC also wistfully admits that maybe Tom and Lynette have a "good marriage after all," but then she sighs a lonely sigh and says that they'll still "never have what [she and Gilbert] had." Aw. Sad! So sad.

And IT'S MAVO DOODY TIME! "Passion," she says in her special earnest-schoolmarm way. "It's a force so potent, we still remember it long after it's faded away." Cross-fade to Carlos and Edie, rolling around naked in front of the fire. MAVO sums up this thing between Edie and Carlos as the product of "a drive so alluring it can push us into the arms of unexpected lovers." Cross-fade to Gabby and Maybe Mayor, who are also doing the Sexlectric Slide. MAVO explains Gabby and MM as experiencing "a sensation so overwhelming, it can knock down walls we've built to protect our hearts." Cross-fade to Susan and Ian, who are also doing it (something sure is in the air on Wisteria Lane tonight!), only Susan is looking a little wistful (i.e. mooning over that kiss from Mike), and MAVO explains that she's experiencing a sort of "feeling so intense, it resurfaces even though we tried so hard to keep it buried." Cross-fade back to Mrs. McC, who reaches into her freezer for another fudgesicle. You know, to fill the void? Of loneliness? In her heart? Except this time, the camera is positioned so we get a view of the freezer over her shoulder, and we can see that inside the COFFIN-DIMENSIONED freezer, lies? Dead Gilbert, completely frozen without benefit of plastic wrap, cheek-to-check with her vast supply of fudgesicles. MAVO: "Yes: of all emotions, passion is the one that gives us a reason to live, and an excuse to commit all sorts of crimes." What? Who? Huh?

Up next: Susan tries to pick a wedding cake...I mean "groom," she tries to pick a groom!