Edie, looking showered and mostly recovered from her brush with bad sex, sits on her couch, barefoot and breezy in a cute French blue babydoll dress. Travers arrives with a cold beer for her, and Edie clucks approvingly: "No foam this time!" Travers: "I tipped the glass, just like you told me to." Edie, encouragingly: "I think somebody's ready to salt his first margarita glass." In spite of myself, I'm amused by his underage drink wrangling skills -- even though I went to school with kids who grew up with party moms, and it turns ugly pretty fast. (If you've ever had to wrangle a keg nozzle out of the wrinkled hand of a friend's past-prime mother at a high school rager, then you know what I mean.) Also, the child actor (the unfortunately porno-named Jake Cherry) who plays Travers is surprisingly not awful, considering that he does kind of have the look of one of those shit-eating Welch's Grape Juice kids. Travers plunks himself down on the couch and wonderingly asks what Carlos meant when he described Edie as "bad in bed." (Travs overheard him on the phone.) Edie nearly chokes on her beer, but improves that "bad in bed" refers to a lack of skill in the bed-making department. Travers very nicely offers to tell everyone that she's actually really great in bed, and Edie gives a funny little terrified laugh. "No, no. If you really want to help Mommy, just top off her breakfast," she says, handing him her beer. I give Edie's sassy Mae West routine maybe five more years before it rots into something more along the lines of Florence Henderson's harrowing Unknown Woman in Shakes The Clown. Actually, make that two years.
Fairview Farmers' Market (who knew?). Ian is indulging in some kind of sick and elaborate fetish that involves fondling an orange at the Citrus City tent while chatting to Susan -- who is over at the cheese tent -- on his celly. Susan, it seems, is having some difficulty tearing herself away from the free samples. Mike walks up to Ian and starts fondling oranges, too (the fetish thickens!). Ian petulantly accuses him of following him and Susan, and Mike laughingly dismisses the accusation, even going so far as to cock an eyebrow -- a fairly huge display of emotion for the Stoneman. "Fairview's a small town," Mike scoffs. "You want distance? Move to The City." Ian's face thinks that's actually not such a bad idea.