Back at the Field of Shattered Dreams, Parker's up at bat again, and Lynette smiles and wiggles knowingly in the stand. Oh god, what has she done now? Nicky pitches the ball, and it's a nice and easy one. Suspiciously nice and easy. Remember that fifty Lynette gave not-such-a-saint Nicky? It was a payoff so he'd soft-pedal his pitches to Parker. Which is like three different terrible acts of parenting all rolled into one; by buying off the pitcher, Lynette is condoning cheating, the use of money to solve problems, and the corruption of a talented kid with an unemployed dad. Not only that, but she's essentially declaring that her son's skills are so unredeemable that his mother has to buy his success. In any case, Parker still manages to miss the pitch, even though it's served up on a platter. Nicky serves up another easy pitch, but it's another strike. Lynette gives Nicky a piercing look, and the kid shrugs in confusion. Strangely, not one parent in the stand or kid in the field catches the highly suspicious exchange. So dumb. Nicky throws one more pitch, and this time, Parker gets a good piece of it. Unfortunately, Parker hits it straight at Nicky, and the ball thunks the kid's head and he falls to the ground, unconscious. The team all gathers around, and Nicky's mother (?) comes running up. As Nicky struggles to consciousness, the maybe-mother spies the fifty sticking out of the back pocket of his uniform. Nicky mutters something and slowly points over at Lynette. Lynette pulls a face almost identical to the one she gave when Snora IDed her as the Carlos matchmaker at Bree's wedding, and she grabs Tom and runs. This happens to Lynette a lot. What was that you said to Tom earlier, Lynette? "It's called parenting...watch and learn"?
Down at the History Hoedown. Bree congratulates Danielle's teacher, Mr. Fallutti, for getting Danielle so fired up about history. Mr. Fallutti has that reluctantly balding look of a guy in his mid-thirties. He tells Bree not to "tell anyone" but Danielle is actually his "favorite student"...in bed! (But I get ahead of myself; more on that later.) Hot for Teacher Danielle, wearing a dress that's really more of a negligee, sidles up and smiles hugely at Bree and Fallutti, and he looks at her all, "don't stand so, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me." Across the room, Andrew leans down to take a closer look at another diorama at the same moment as some dad-guy leans in for a closer look. They lock eyes, and clearly they recognize each other. The dadman can't quite place Andrew, so Andrew jogs his memory. The man gave him a ride in his car once? "You know, the one with the reclining seats?" Panama! (Reach down between my legs, ease the seat back. You know what I'm sayin'? Wow, two Van Halen references in one paragraph? That deserves a prize or something, like maybe my own pair of pants sewn out of ladies panties, Ã la the pair famously owned and worn by Diamond Dave. Whom, incidentally, I once met at a strip club in Los Angeles. But I regress.) A look of horror crosses the dadman's face, and he races away, bumping into Orson on his way out of Dodge. Orson, who recognizes the man as "Dr. Keck" (a fellow dentist maybe?), asks Andrew how they know each other, and Andrew laughs and says, "drama camp." Orson: "Oh, dear god." Andrew, who actually seems upset, still manages to laugh wryly as he says, "I...ah...performed for him once." Ha! Orson very nicely puts his hand on Andrew's shoulder and asks him whether he's okay, and Andrew, looking shaky, claims that he's fine. Orson marvels that Dr. Keck is a "very respected member of the community." Andrew: "They all were." Watching the exchange from across the room, Bree looks thoughtful.