Oh, right. Ian and Susan. Sigh. Once again, they're lolling in bed post-coitally, listening to romantic French tunes (Edith Piaf? Eartha Kitt?) and weaving their fingers together. Speaking of French singers, Ian invites Susan to actually accompany him to France next month. Susan: "Okay! You got to promise me that we'll actually leave the hotel room." Ughhhh. Ian: "It's Paris, dear, you can pretty much make love anywhere." Ewwww. I know I've gone on record as saying I like these two together, their zinging dialoging at least, but for whatever reason, I'm now having real trouble watching the two of them sexing it up. Maybe it's the grossness of how neither of them is acknowledging the strangeness, or dare I say sadness of their coma mates stuck back at the hospital, but their chemistry-o-meter is hitting the negative numbers. And watching them coo and giggle is very cringe inspiring. In fact, if I weren't recapping, I'd probably be muting my way through this scene. The phone rings, and Ian and Susan awkwardly editorialize about how they guess that sometimes cell phones do actually get reception up there, after all. Susan answers the phone. It's Julie, who immediately spills the Mike news. And POP! Goodbye to all of Susan and Ian's French-kissing. Susan is frantically trying to find out when Mike actually woke up when the phone goes dead again. Susan leaps out of bed and gathers up all her clothes. Only...it looks as though Ian's sitting on top of her bra. Cringe!
At the House of Many Bribes and Many Brothers. Tom reports that Parker has been kicked off of his team, and so has Nicky. Nice work, Lynette. But Lynette of course is not shamed: her cause was noble! She was just trying to rebuild Parker's "shattered self-esteem"! Tom, unable to resist a little I Told You So, says how things would have been so much better if Lynette had just let Parker leave the team like he wanted to. Remember that part? Lynette: "Well excuse me for not wanting my son to be a quitter!" Lynette doesn't actually have a great sense of priorities: quitting little league isn't nearly as bad as getting kicked off little league because your mother has no confidence in you. What is Lynette's hang-up with "quitting"? It's confusing. But then Tom puts it together: Lynette's obsession with Parker quitting is clearly really about her rage over Tom being a quitter! Subconsciouses are complicated. They scream that she just won't let him live his dreams, and how she too has a dream, and that's "keeping this house." Just then Parker walks in, all suited up for baseball practice, and asks them what they're fighting about. Lynette tries to spin their rage at each other as "excitement" over the fact that they've decided that Parker no longer has to play baseball. But, ironically enough, thanks to Parker's one hit, the kid is now totally thrilled and excited about baseball. He races outside, yelling at his parents to come help him practice. Tom, brushing past Lynette: "So what's on the next page of your parenting handbook?" Exactly.