Desperate Housewives
Like It Was

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Like It Was

And now for The Scene in which Edie Feeds Mike Pudding. Mike -- in a "Young Frankenstein's monster does 'Puttin' on the Ritz'" voice that I think is James Denton's idea of how someone would sound after erupting suddenly out of a coma -- says that he thinks he "can feed himself." Edie: "You said that yesterday, and I wound out with a cleavage full of pudding." Now that's a mental picture: like two bald men, covered in chocolate. Take that, Blue Man Group. Edie reminds Mike that the "therapist" said it's going to be a good while before Mike's ready to go home. This makes Mike sad. Mike is homesick. Mike also, it appears, has amnesia. He's convinced that it's still 2004, which means he remembers Bree and Rex, but not that Rex is dead. Like all of Season 2 never happened! In Marc Cherry's dreams!

Cut to Edie pedoconferencing down the hospital hallway with the doctor, who explains that Mike's condition is called "Retrograde Memory Loss," and it's the result of the "swelling of the frontal lobe damage." Most patients only lose a few weeks, though, so Mike's case is (conveniently) unusual. The doctor suggests that Edie do some work with Mike to help jog his memory, and she evilly says that she's sure she can "fill in a few blanks." Cue the "Oh Yeah, Edie Is Going to Mess with Mike's MIND" music.

And cue The Bad News Bears anthem. Lynette and Tom are sitting in the stands at Parker's little league game. Lynette is telling Tom about a lead she has on a PR job, but Tom isn't interested. His dreams, remember his dreams?!? Parker strikes out. Lynette embarrassingly yells, "It's okay P-dawg, you're going to get 'em next inning!" Parker, walking back to the dugout, shoots his mother a scathing look. So Lynette walks over to her son and has a loving and frank conversation about how life is full of things that aren't fun and we're not always great at everything we try, but you never know when something unpleasant like forced baseball is going to produce something truly great, like a new best friend or a life-long love of the smell of freshly cut grass.... Just kidding! Lynette does not have a heart-to-heart with her son about the hard knocks of life. Instead, like the concerned and loving parent she isn't, Lynette turns to the woman sitting beside her in the stands and starts pumping her for information about the pitcher who just struck out Parker.

Later, during a break in the game, the pitcher kid is trying to buy a cotton candy, but he's fifty cents short. Lynette leans in with a dollar and tells the Cotton Candy Man to "give the kid whatever he wants." She invites the pitcher (his name is Nicky) for a walk, and tells him how she knows all about how his dad lost his job, how the allowance money probably isn't flowing as easily as it once was. Then she casually mentions that Parker's having some trouble hitting the ball, which pitcher kid has indeed noticed. She whips out a fifty and ask Nicky whether he'd be willing to practice with Parker after school, you know, just give Parker a few tips something to help him learn and improve. Just kidding! Lynette isn't interested in long-term plans to help her kid actually improve at anything. Are you kidding? No that fifty is for something far less savory, as you'll soon discover.

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Desperate Housewives

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