Desperate Housewives
Like It Was

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Like It Was

Gabby pulls up in front of her house. She's wearing the same turquoise-print scarf in her hair that she wore to the garage sale, and I think even the same turquoise track suit, so either it's the same day, or funds are, indeed, so tight that she's unable to afford new outfits. Criminal! Gabby: "What are you doing here, I means besides lowering my property value?" Carlos reports that he's ready to give in to her spousal support demands. Unfortunately, since paying off Gabby is going to be such a huge drain on his finances, he's also moving back home, and his lawyer reports that he's perfectly within his rights to do so. Gabby stomps her little foot and gasps and gapes.

Back at the Field of Shattered Dreams, Parker's up at bat again, and Lynette smiles and wiggles knowingly in the stand. Oh god, what has she done now? Nicky pitches the ball, and it's a nice and easy one. Suspiciously nice and easy. Remember that fifty Lynette gave not-such-a-saint Nicky? It was a payoff so he'd soft-pedal his pitches to Parker. Which is like three different terrible acts of parenting all rolled into one; by buying off the pitcher, Lynette is condoning cheating, the use of money to solve problems, and the corruption of a talented kid with an unemployed dad. Not only that, but she's essentially declaring that her son's skills are so unredeemable that his mother has to buy his success. In any case, Parker still manages to miss the pitch, even though it's served up on a platter. Nicky serves up another easy pitch, but it's another strike. Lynette gives Nicky a piercing look, and the kid shrugs in confusion. Strangely, not one parent in the stand or kid in the field catches the highly suspicious exchange. So dumb. Nicky throws one more pitch, and this time, Parker gets a good piece of it. Unfortunately, Parker hits it straight at Nicky, and the ball thunks the kid's head and he falls to the ground, unconscious. The team all gathers around, and Nicky's mother (?) comes running up. As Nicky struggles to consciousness, the maybe-mother spies the fifty sticking out of the back pocket of his uniform. Nicky mutters something and slowly points over at Lynette. Lynette pulls a face almost identical to the one she gave when Snora IDed her as the Carlos matchmaker at Bree's wedding, and she grabs Tom and runs. This happens to Lynette a lot. What was that you said to Tom earlier, Lynette? "It's called and learn"?

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Desperate Housewives




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