Desperate Housewives
Like It Was

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Like It Was

Down at the History Hoedown. Bree congratulates Danielle's teacher, Mr. Fallutti, for getting Danielle so fired up about history. Mr. Fallutti has that reluctantly balding look of a guy in his mid-thirties. He tells Bree not to "tell anyone" but Danielle is actually his "favorite student" bed! (But I get ahead of myself; more on that later.) Hot for Teacher Danielle, wearing a dress that's really more of a negligee, sidles up and smiles hugely at Bree and Fallutti, and he looks at her all, "don't stand so, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me." Across the room, Andrew leans down to take a closer look at another diorama at the same moment as some dad-guy leans in for a closer look. They lock eyes, and clearly they recognize each other. The dadman can't quite place Andrew, so Andrew jogs his memory. The man gave him a ride in his car once? "You know, the one with the reclining seats?" Panama! (Reach down between my legs, ease the seat back. You know what I'm sayin'? Wow, two Van Halen references in one paragraph? That deserves a prize or something, like maybe my own pair of pants sewn out of ladies panties, à la the pair famously owned and worn by Diamond Dave. Whom, incidentally, I once met at a strip club in Los Angeles. But I regress.) A look of horror crosses the dadman's face, and he races away, bumping into Orson on his way out of Dodge. Orson, who recognizes the man as "Dr. Keck" (a fellow dentist maybe?), asks Andrew how they know each other, and Andrew laughs and says, "drama camp." Orson: "Oh, dear god." Andrew, who actually seems upset, still manages to laugh wryly as he says, "I...ah...performed for him once." Ha! Orson very nicely puts his hand on Andrew's shoulder and asks him whether he's okay, and Andrew, looking shaky, claims that he's fine. Orson marvels that Dr. Keck is a "very respected member of the community." Andrew: "They all were." Watching the exchange from across the room, Bree looks thoughtful.

Later, back at the Van de Hodge manse. Bree asks Orson what he and Andrew were talking about down at the diorama fair. Orson tries to escape the conversation with an offer to make some cocoa, but Bree presses the matter. Orson sighs and explains that, while Andrew doesn't want him to say anything, he doesn't want to hold anything back from Bree. So after getting Bree to agree to not to tell Andrew that he just spilled the beans, Orson explains: "When Andrew was on the street, he didn't just beg for money; at times, he did things to earn it." Bree, who by the way is working on some needlepoint in this scene, the picture of old-fashioned womanhood, says, "Oh, good! I'd hate to think he had no work ethic at all." The "Oh Boy" music tiptoes into life. Orson: "What I mean is, men hired things, things he wasn't proud of." Bree, innocently: "Yard work?" Ha. Orson is "afraid not." He stares at her meaningfully, but she can't quite catch his meaning. She asks if the things Andrew did were really "awful," and Orson dances beautifully around the subject, explains that no, the things Andrew did were not awful; in fact, he and Bree do these things all the time. He just doesn't give her money for it...? Finally, his meaning hits home. Bree, who you may recall is a Republican, looks shocked, her face a mask of surprise like she's just been rear-ended. Without getting paid for it. Orson, brusquely: "I think someone could use a cocoa." Dr. Orson is actually growing on me!

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Desperate Housewives




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