Gabby starts to say something generic to Bree to the effect of how she just needs to "follow her heart" (which kind of goes against what she just said, which was more like a definite no, don't tell the wife, but okay...it kind of feels like Eva Longoria is just filler-talking here, waiting to get interrupted), when Carlos walks in behind Gabby, wearing his boxers and an undershirt, and starts rooting around in the refrigerator for a beer. And then he reaches and scratches that intimate area between the upper thigh and the ass. Bree, confused, asks Gabby whether she and Carlos are back together. Gabby is confused, until she turns and takes in the lovely site of Carlos scratching his thass. She grabs the beer out of his hands and hisses at him to put some pants on. Carlos would happily put some pants on, if only Gabby hadn't pulled his wet laundry out of the drier. And then Gabby brings in the big guns: she accuses him of peeing in her shampoo. Peeing. In her shampoo. Which seems pretty extreme? And considering which show I'm recapping here, that's saying a lot. Carlos: "You should know that if I was going to do something like that, I wouldn't do it to your shampoo. I'd do it to your mouthwash, soup, and decaffeinated coffee." Mouthwash, soup, and decaffeinated coffee? That's...unexpected. If I were playing $20,000 Pyramid and my partner gave me the clues "mouthwash, soup, and decaffeinated coffee," I don't think I would guess "things people pee in." Carlos waves at the Ladies and leaves. Gabby: "To answer your question, no, we are not getting back together." The ladies shrug and go to pick up their coffee cups, and then all at once, the pee thread occurs to them, and they put those cups right back down on the table.
Oh, right. Ian and Susan. Sigh. Once again, they're lolling in bed post-coitally, listening to romantic French tunes (Edith Piaf? Eartha Kitt?) and weaving their fingers together. Speaking of French singers, Ian invites Susan to actually accompany him to France next month. Susan: "Okay! You got to promise me that we'll actually leave the hotel room." Ughhhh. Ian: "It's Paris, dear, you can pretty much make love anywhere." Ewwww. I know I've gone on record as saying I like these two together, their zinging dialoging at least, but for whatever reason, I'm now having real trouble watching the two of them sexing it up. Maybe it's the grossness of how neither of them is acknowledging the strangeness, or dare I say sadness of their coma mates stuck back at the hospital, but their chemistry-o-meter is hitting the negative numbers. And watching them coo and giggle is very cringe inspiring. In fact, if I weren't recapping, I'd probably be muting my way through this scene. The phone rings, and Ian and Susan awkwardly editorialize about how they guess that sometimes cell phones do actually get reception up there, after all. Susan answers the phone. It's Julie, who immediately spills the Mike news. And POP! Goodbye to all of Susan and Ian's French-kissing. Susan is frantically trying to find out when Mike actually woke up when the phone goes dead again. Susan leaps out of bed and gathers up all her clothes. Only...it looks as though Ian's sitting on top of her bra. Cringe!