Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | 1502 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Listen To The Rain On The Roof

Nighttime. Gabby and Carlos pull up in front of his place. She no longer appears to be wearing the pork, so either she's changed tops or this is another night altogether. Gabby's on the phone with Edie, who's called to say that she has Money. Gabby brightly says, "Crisis averted, no harm no foul!" Carlos sneers and guilt-trips her about putting their baby's life in danger. Gabby comes right back at him with the scolding, telling him that he has no right to bitch considering what she's been through taking care of his mistress. Why, if the roles had been reversed and Carlos had to take care of John the Gardener, would Carlos have rubbed his chubby stumps? Gabby doesn't think so. Carlos moves to get out of the car, saying something about how John was never carrying their baby. That would be weird! "Forgive me for being concerned about our surrogate," Carlos grumbles. This sets Gabby off into an a impassioned speech to the effect that Money is going to be fine, she's going to go off and live her "American dream," while Gabby's going to be trapped forever as a single mother. "My American dream is officially dead," she sadly says. Carlos, clearly moved by her American dream speech, apologizes to her in a sad, small voice. And then, and this really made me laugh, he starts to say, "And just so you know, my American dream..." but Gabby hits the gas, leaving Carlos standing there.

Orson is washing wine glasses in Bree's sink. He's wearing rubber gloves again, but this pair is a cheerful yellow. Bree is on the phone, telling another friend that they need to act surprised when the engagement gets announced at Saturday's party. Orson teases her gently (and of course creepily) that there's going to be nothing left to announce, what with her telling everyone in advance. Bree asks him why he's rewashing the wine glasses, and he tells her that he spotted some streaks. As he starts telling her about the kind of formulae he likes to use in these situations ("undiluted red wine vinegar"), Bree looks shocked. At first it's not clear if she's mad that he's second-guessing her cleaning powers or what. But then, as he explains what he likes to do with tougher stains ("a fifty-fifty mix of alcohol and water, and for those really...intractable stains, we're talking shower doors, I wipe on lacquer thinner with a towel"), she grabs him and kisses him and drags him upstairs before he even has a chance to turn off the sink faucet. It looks like Orson has found Bree's trigger: cleaning fluids. Wow, just wait until she sees him in his black rubber gloves.

Desperate Housewives

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