Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | 1501 USERS: B-
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Listen To The Rain On The Roof

Saturday night, the night of the big engagement party. It's raining again (still?). People are laughing, they're admiring Bree's engagement ring, they're drinking champagne.

The doorbell chimes. It's Jackie from Roseanne! Bree -- who is wearing an amazing "Marilyn over the subway grate" dress in perfect teal green -- answers the door with a huge smile on her face. Oh, Bree. (Remember when this show was nothing but "Oh, Susan"? Well, it's the "Oh, Bree" show now!) Jackie from Roseanne walks into the party and announces in a loud, cutting voice that she's "not there to celebrate." Oh boy, here we go. She chides Orson for making such quick work of the new engagement; then she asks if Bree, by any chance, knows that she's marrying a man who murdered his wife? Orson, skittishly: "MY WIFE LEFT ME!" Jackie from Roseanne, quiet now that the room is hooked on her every word: "And no one ever heard from her again -- not her friends, not her family. Just dropped off the face of the earth." And the "he totally did it" music swells! Jackie from Roseanne tells Bree to "get away from [Orson] while [she] still can." Always the loyal one, Bree marches over and commands Jackie from Roseanne to leave. Jackie from Roseanne screws her face up into a shrewish pucker: "Fine, be a fool. Just don't be surprised when you go missing, too." Jackie from Roseanne takes her leave, her work here done.

Bree shuts the door behind Jackie from Roseanne, and then, looking at no one, she turns and heads straight into the...den? Orson follows her and immediately starts apologizing for her having to go through that little scene. Bree looks crushed and confused. Orson steps closer to her (run, Forrest!), and whispers that he did try to find his wife, but that her family "claimed" not to have heard from her: "Personally, I think she was just trying to punish me." Bree, struggling to catch up, asks him if he's still married. Actually, no, he got a divorce based on "grounds of abandonment." Phew. He takes Bree's hand, and sincerely (but still creepily) does the whole "you can't possibly think..." number. Bree immediately puts his fears to rest. Of course, she still loves him. Boy, after that whole George saga, you'd think she'd be less trusting. But okay, she still loves him. She and Orson look into each other's eyes, and she's tearing up just a bit. From the emotions? No, because Orson is squeezing her hand in a painful vise grip. Once she points that out, he immediately lets go. But still not the most encouraging sign, that fact that he's capable of unconsciously hurting her. And then there's the whole "murderer" thing.

Desperate Housewives

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