Thought #4: And yet, Orson may not have actually killed his wife, but as Mike and Baby well know, he's very big on silence. So either way you slice it, Jackie from Roseanne had still better watch her back, and probably her front.

And finally, Thought #5: Boy, Bree just keeps running down the field and Lucy keeps yoinking the football at the last minute. I wonder how long it'll be before Bree's lying on her back again, with sucker stars circling over her head?

[Final meta update: I just finished my second glass of wine, and I don't feel the alcohol at all. In fact, the only thing I feel is sort of bored, which is strange, because alcohol doesn't typically do that to me. Oh wait. Yeah, even with orgasms and the racial slurs and the murder accusations, this premiere still isn't quite the thrill-coaster I was hoping for.]

Which brings us to the MAVO montage! Back at the party, the guests have all left and the food is picked over. Bree, looking fantastically depressed, walks out into the pouring rain with a bag full of party trash. MAVO: "Every storm brings with it hope that somehow, by morning, everything will be made clean again, and even the most troubling stains will have disappeared. Like the doubts over his innocence." Bree stands there by the trash cans, in her bedraggled party dress, the rain pouring down, while Orson watches her from the house. MAVO continues: "Or the consequence of his mistake." Lynette comes home to find Tom and Kayla playing a card game on the floor. Lynette smiles at them and they wave back, but as she turns to close the door, you can tells she's struggling with things. MAVO: "Like the scars of his betrayal." Gabby comes home, and Money is sitting there, snacking on a carton of something. MAVO: "Or the memory of his kiss." Susan comes home and sits down in front of a framed photo of her with Mike, staring at it glumly. MAVO: "So we wait for the storm to pass, hoping for the best." There's Bree, still standing there in the rain. Behind her you can see Orson heading back inside. MAVO: "Even though we know, in our hearts, some stains are so indelible," the camera pans in on that ominous construction site down at Orson's club, "nothing can wash them away." We close in on a stretch of exposed earth, the music shrieks, and then there it is: a human hand! And, since it's still pretty fleshed out, it's probably not Alma! (Unless Orson kept her iced for the past six months.)

Up next: Punishment-glutton Bree gets married!