Calgon is taking Carlos away. Gabby sweeps in to show off her new shoes, and Carlos shushes her, he's trying to watch the game. Just soaking in the bubble bath and watching the game on the television in their bathroom. (Again I ask, just exactly when is Carlos going to jail?) After a second it occurs to Carlos that Gabby shouldn't have new shoes because her credit cards are all cut up. Gabby says, with false sympathy, oh, we can talk about it later, you're watching the game! But Carlos wants to know what the story is NOW. "Oh, you've heard it before, girl meets boy, boy buys girl things, girl leaves happy!" Carlos wonders just what it is she's done. "You know, I forgot how generous men can be. And also forgot I have options I don't need your credit cards, Carlos, and I don't need your money. But if our marriage is going to work, I need your respect." Gabby delivers this speech with a sense of empowerment, like somehow she's taken back the night with her plucky prostitution-lite lunch scam. And yet Carlos still refuses to tear up the post-nup. But Gabby thinks he'll change his mind. Oh yes he will! Because otherwise she's going to put on her new shoes and walk out the door. Carlos wonders if she's threatening him. No, Gabby's just pointing out that she's a pretty girl, and pretty girls are never lonely. Tell that to Susan.
A bored-looking Susan sits far, far away from her date, Lamont, who's busy doing towering Peppermint Schnapps shots. Isn't that the whole reason teenagers spend at least one night drinking Schnapps until they're hug a toilet, so it's burned out of their system and they don't ever have to drink it as an adult? Mom and Tim are dancing, and Tim's hands keep creeping ever-downward toward Sophie's youthful ass. "I'm really ticklish," Sophie squeals. Lamont tries to make small talk with Susan. "So, uh, children's books, right? I hope you realize how lucky you are. Not everyone gets to realize their bliss." Susan admits how it, ah, can be rewarding. Lamont pats the three square inches next to him on the couch and asks her to join him. Susan simply says, "No." Again Sophie squeals with the "I'm really ticklish!" and Susan jumps up and yells, "For god's sake, Tim, she's ticklish, how many times do you have to be told?" Sophie goes over to change the music, and Susan tries again to end the night, this time pointing out how late it's getting. But Susan hasn't even finished her shot! So, slowly-slowly Susan knocks it back, her face appropriately twisted in distaste. "Ahh, the perfect capper to the perfect evening!" she says by way of a toast. "So, good night! It's been a lovely evening! Lamont, good luck with your inventions." Inventions! Ha, that one word speaks volumes about Susan's last how many hours. Sophie's all, but it's only 11:30, she wants to hit the CLUBS. Oh, man, what a bummer your mom is, Susan. I light a candle for you.