Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B- | 666 USERS: C+
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Live Alone and Like It

Gabby is at a nice restaurant, sipping a glass of white wine and cuddling up with a new pair of strippy-strap gold shoes. She's wearing a complicated blue-on-blue satin dress, with draped elements that twist, circle, and tie to frame the bare rounds of her shoulders. A gentleman of a certain age gazes at her from across the room. He is wearing a dusty rose tie and matching shirt. Gabby and Dusty Rose make eye contact and tinkle their wine glasses at each other. The moment is interrupted by the ubiquitous Bitch Waiter, with his Ma'am Your Card Has Been Rejected, Perhaps You Have Another I Could Try? routine. Gabby sends him away, ostensibly so she can search for an alternate card but really so she can whip out her cell phone and call John. Apparently the credit card company called his mom due to some unusual activity. "I bought shoes!" Gabby yelps. Those strippy-strappies must be insanely expensive -- usually it takes more than one purchase before a card gets flagged. Anyway, John panicked and said the card was stolen. Gabby wonders why his parents were even called in the first place. Because they co-signed for it! Awww, Gardener John has a learner's card. Cute, but also a little sad. Gardener John is still so little. And Gabby is such a selfish opportunist. John suggests she just try to explain it to the waiter. What, tell him that the card got "canceled by my lover's mommy?" Gabrielle sniffs. John's alternate suggestion, that she return the shoes, meets with even less enthusiasm. "Return the shoes? I can't talk to you when you're being hysterical!" And with that, Gabby hangs up on him. Bitchy Waiter returns, and past his shoulder Gabby spies Dusty Rose fiddling with…wait! What is that he's doing? Is he CHECKING HIS SIDEKICK? Hey, I HAVE A SIDEKICK! I adore my Sidekick! Me, Snoopy Dog Dog, Dusty Rose…we are cut from the same gilded cloth.

Lynette is out on the front lawn, putting the kids' toys in a laundry basket. The UPS guy is there, trying to lay down some brown over at Mrs. McLandingham's, but she's not answering the door. "Well, isn't she home?" Lynette asks. "She usually never goes anywhere." Poor Mrs. McLandingham. Lynette signs for the package, then sneaks up to Mrs. McLandingham's door, puts the package on the doormat, rings the bell, and books out of there. That Lynette, such a kid at heart.

Desperate Housewives

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