Another round of commercials later, Mrs. McCluskey's holding the urn, with Susan driving, Gaby in the passenger seat and Lynette and Bree in the middle seat. Mrs. McCluskey never thought Edie would want to be cremated, because she thought she'd want to be pumped full of chemicals and preserved. Lynette steals my joke: "Isn't that what she did for the last 15 years?" Bree says her theory is that Edie didn't want her true date of birth carved into her tombstone for all the world to see, so she chose cremation. Susan asks if they really think she spent a lot of time thinking about her death. Gaby says, "Yeah. I do."
And we're in our Gaby flashback. She apparently spent a night with Edie right after she and Carlos got divorced (and before Edie and Carlos were a couple, apparently). Gaby's putting on lipstick, because she and Edie are going clubbing. Gaby can't believe they've never gone out on the town together, and she feels sorry for all the other girls in the bar. So does Edie. She thinks to be fair, they should walk in backwards. Then she looks at her backside in the mirror, and says, "Oh, no, that won't work." Edie says they're the hottest chicks on Wisteria Lane, and Gaby tells her to be nice and that there are lot of attractive women on the street. Edie: "Like who?" (Once again, I'm sure the others are loving the nice Edie stories.) Gaby suggests Bree, and Edie says with that hair color, if you stuck a red nose on her, she could join the circus. Gaby says Lynette's beautiful, to which Edie replies, "Hmph. For a baby factory." Gaby mentions Susan, and Edie just says, "We're the hottest, okay?" What? No insults for Susan? Gaby comes out of the closet in a short little red dress, and Edie says, "Wow." Gaby heads out, and Edie tucks up her already-short skirt so it's even shorter.
As soon as the ladies sit at the bar, the bartender brings them a drink from the guy at the end of the bar. Edie grabs it, but the bartender says it's actually for Gaby. The guy who sent it winks. Edie says the guy probably didn't get a good look at her. Gaby tells Edie not to take it personally; they're just different types. Edie bitchily says she's right: "Some men like tall, blonde and sexy, and some men like (she looks Gaby up and down) that." Gaby tells her not to be snarky, because they're both hot. But then she says she's obviously hotter. Edie insults her boobs, so Gaby points out that at least they're real. Edie tries to protest hers are real, but Gaby's not falling for that big fat lie. Edie thinks Gaby's jealous, then she makes fun of her for being short. They continue to argue over who's hotter. Gaby's using her drink as her argument that it's her, and Edie's using her maniacal self-confidence as hers. Edie challenges Gaby to see who can get the most drinks bought for them in an hour. They part ways.