Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
Ashes Make the Heart Grow Fonder

Back in the car, Susan says she found Brandy's bra in Karl's glove compartment three weeks later. Gaby says Edie really understood men [Although in this case her analysis was based on knowing women. - Z], and Mrs. McCluskey says all those years of research had to have helped. Susan can't help thinking about all of the times she and Edie sniped at each other, when they could have been good friends. Lynette tells Susan that if Edie knew what Susan was about to do for her, she'd forgive her for everything.

After commercial, Lynette and Susan have switched places so Susan's driving now. In the middle seat, Gaby says her hour is up and someone else needs to hold the urn now. Lynette volunteers. She opens the lid and says it kinda looks like cat litter. Susan scolds Lynette not to look at Edie, and Lynette asks if she'll turn to stone. Gaby takes the urn back as Bree tells Lynette a little more reverence for the dead is in order. Lynette's all, "Oh, please. We're talking about Edie." She takes the urn back and puts the lid back on it. She asks if they remember when they took turns driving her to chemo. She says none of them did it like Edie...

...And we're in the past, with Edie walking in to Lynette's and asking how she's feeling. Lynette says she's fine, and Edie gives her the DVD she asked for. Lynette says she'll watch it during chemo if she feels up to it. Katherine walks in with a tray of food that Edie thinks looks disgusting. Katherine says it's a health shake of fermented brown rice, and a salad of bok choy, radish, and some sort of root. Edie asks if waterboarding is for dessert. But Lynette thanks Katherine for it, and then Katherine leaves. She says she'll be back to drive her to chemo. Before she leaves, Lynette asks Katherine to put her socks back on for her. Edie looks disgusted. She takes the socks and volunteers to take Lynette to chemo instead. Katherine leaves, and Edie asks where Lynette's coat is. Lynette says chemo's not until 5, but Edie says she has to make a little stop on the way.

That stop is at a biker bar, where Edie and Lynette are greeted with a shout of "Edie!" It might be because Edie is wearing a flowy white shirt that fastens at her breasts but then is totally open beneath that. Apparently, she really wanted to showcase her assets in her final episode. Lynette says she has chemo in a half-hour, so Edie tells her to start drinking. Lynette says she's not supposed to drink, and Edie's argument is that they're not supposed to do tattoos in the kitchen, either, but she has a bald eagle on her ass that says otherwise. She orders two tequila shooters. Because what someone sick with chemo needs is shots that will make them more sick. A long-haired pool player named Reggie comes up to Edie, and offers to play Lynette in pool. She's all, "No, I can't," lifts her head scarf and says, "See? Cancer." Reggie detaches his left arm and says "No sweat. I'll play you one-handed." Lynette wants to talk to Edie alone. She tells her she needs to go to chemo because she has cancer. Edie's all, "Yeah, I heard." Lynette asks what Edie wants from her, and Edie says she wants Lynette to start fluffing her own pillows and fighting this thing. Lynette says she's doing her best, but Edie thinks that's not even close to true. She says Lynette's the strongest person she knows -- even stronger than Edie, which is saying something. She knows she's a little out of line bringing her here, but Lynette needs to remember who she is. "Screw cancer. You are Lynette Scavo." Lynette's teary as she takes her shot, because a tequila shooter in a biker bar is totally how she will remember who she is. She asks where Reggie is, because she'd like to "shoot some stick."

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Desperate Housewives




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