Previously: um...I don't really remember. Stuff happened with people and things.
Casa Punch You In The Face. Lynette plays with the baby, while MAVO yammers that while most mothers would agree that their babies are "a gift from God," the gifts the kids give their mothers are "less than heavenly." Wow, less than one minute in and I am already enraged! It's good to be back! This launches us into an infuriating montage of Lynette complaining about the shitty gifts her little children have made for her because she is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE PERSON. The word "suffered" is used. What a horrible bitch. They are LITTLE CHILDREN who have made you gifts with their LITTLE TINY HANDS because they LOVE YOU and you're pissed because said little gifts are UGLY? Bite me, Lynette. Anyway, today, Lynette's Valentine's Day gift from the boys is a violet plant in a beautiful, mosaic-tiled pot. MAVO yaps that now, at least, Lynette has received something she's not embarrassed to display. The day I am "too embarrassed" to display, say, a drawing done by my as-yet-unconceived child is the day I hope someone slaps me. Lynette asks Parsley, Potato, and Pomegranate where they got the pot, and they chorus that they made it. Lynette proudly puts the pot on her porch and smiles out at the world. Thank God she's not wearing the choker.
Lynette doesn't look nearly as proud the next day, when she sees her across-the-street neighbor -- who's played by Kathryn Joosten, best known to me as Mrs. Landingham on The West Wing -- come up on to her porch, examine the pot, and take it with her back across the street. Lynette comes racing out of the door, screaming after Mrs. Landingham about stealing the pot. Mrs. Landingham dryly informs Lynette that the pot is hers: "Your boys stole it off my porch," Mrs. Landingham tells her. Lynette sputters that the boys made the pot, but Mrs. Landingham explains that she got it in Costa Rica, and turns it over so that Lynette can see that the pot's price is marked in "p"s on the bottom. Presumably for pesos, although the currency in Costa Rica is the Colon, and it took me about two seconds to look that up on Google, so way to go, y'all. Lynette falls silent. "What?" Mrs. Landingham asks, crankily. "Nothing more to say? Cat got your tongue? Listen to me: keep your brats off my property." She storms off, as I fall in love. Lynette just does a slow burn as she turns and glares at her boys, who scramble to hide behind their front door.