Wine is poured. Cards are read. Gunshot wounds bleed. Susan spares no time, and launches right into her whole I Don't Want A Baby speech. Mike looks sweaty and quite uncomfortable.
Meanwhile, Lynette and Gay Matt have dinner at home. Gay Matt is wearing an unfortunate blue mock turtleneck. The sweet nothings he's whispering to her consist of a request that she go across the street and apologize to Mrs. Landingham. Lynette whines that she doesn't want to. She just can't. Gay Matt tells her she has to, in order to be a good neighbor. Lynette whines that now they're even and they can start from scratch. Gay Matt sighs. "Okay, if the Being a Pleasant Human Being argument doesn't fly with you, we'll try self-preservation," he says. Oh, Matt. It's so adorably naïve that you started out trying to appeal to Lynette's better nature when it's quite clear she doesn't have one. He argues that, if their house catches on fire, they want Mrs. Landingham to care enough to call the fire department. Lynette brats that if the house is on fire, Mrs. Landingham probably set it. Gay Matt doesn't tell her that he's sick of her childish behavior, but instead just says that they are going to need Mrs. Landingham's help one day: "And I don't want her not to help us just because of some silly feud." Finally, Lynette and her bad eyeliner agree with Gay Matt. They make out.
Over at La Petite Disaster Susan is still yapping about her cervix and Mike is still bleeding. She finally notices how pale he is: "Oh god, you're not taking this well," Susan breathes. "Oh, I was afraid of this." Mike drips some blood on the floor and announces that he has to go. Susan looks legitimately shocked. "What?" she asks. Mike apologizes and gets up. Susan stands and looks after him. "I can't believe this," she tells him. "You're leaving without even trying to talk me into having your baby? How do you know I wouldn't cave? I always cave!" What Mike does, though, is pass out.