Desperate Housewives
Love Is In The Air

Episode Report Card
Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now!
Love Is In The Air

So, back at his place, Mike has some random black-market doctor stitch him up. Black Market Doctor notes that "Noah's getting impatient." Well, and George is getting upset. We can't all have what we want. Mike swears that he's "getting closer." BMD looks at Mike's trusty picture of Deirdre, and says that he can't believe "a kid from such a good family can get so messed up." Mike says that he met someone who recognized her photo. "I think she rented a room over on Pine Avenue," he adds. Wow, I so don't care about Deidre. Anyway, the phone rings, and Susan begins to leave a message on the machine.

Cut to Susan at home, talking into the phone. She says she knows Mike's home and she really needs to talk to him about something and she's coming over. Mike grabs the phone and grunts a hello. Susan asks if he's okay, and he lies that he just stubbed his toe. She totally doesn't care. She really needs to talk to him. Mike says that he has "a buddy" over, and wonders if it can wait until dinner the next day. Susan: "It's kind of important...I guess it can wait. See you at 7?" Mike groans that he's counting the minutes, and he hangs up and rolls his eyes. BMD thinks Mike should "take it easy," but Mike says he can't cancel on Susan: "The last thing I need is for her to get suspicious." Yeah, it totally sounds like he's in the market for some cervix.

The next day -- I guess. Who knows? This show exists in a land without days -- Lynette comes home and starts unloading her groceries. Mrs. Landingham drives by, slows down, and calls out the window, "Maybe it's my dementia, but I still haven't found my purple wall clock." Lynette snaps that no one knows or cares where Mrs. Landingham's stupid clock is, because Lynette is a master of diplomacy. Gay Matt comes outside -- presumably to help bring in the groceries -- as Mrs. Landingham notes that one of the boys has left his bike in the street, and asks them to move it. Lynette brats that she'll move it when Mrs. Landingham says "please." So Mrs. Landingham turns her car around and goes ahead and rolls over the bike six or seven times. So Lynette? Eggs first Mrs. Landingham's car, and then, when the old woman gets out, throws a raw egg right in her face. Look, Mrs. Landingham shouldn't have driven over the bike, but I was raised to believe that it is never okay to stoop to someone's level like that, first of all, and, second of all, that it is never, ever, EVER okay to THROW AN EGG IN SOMEONE'S FACE. Especially if the someone in question is an old woman. My own grandmother could be a bit of a piece of work -- although I adored her -- but if someone threw an egg in her face, even if she was being a pain to them, I would have found that person and RUINED HER. Mrs. Landingham is an OLD LADY. Don't pick on someone weaker than you are, Lynette, even if she is acting like kind of a bitch. Not to mention the fact that there's a very real difference between attacking an object -- like the bike -- and attacking a person, and guess which one is worse? My God, no wonder your children are such holy terrors. You're setting a terrible, terrible example and I want to punch you in the face. Gay Matt just looks weary and wonders if Lynette's offer to leave him and take the kids if he cheats on her still stands.

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Desperate Housewives




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