Desperate Housewives must have figured its characters would be more relatable if they all had money problems. This is not the case, of course, but nevertheless, here is our "economy" episode:

Gaby has money again since she forced Carlos to take a corporate job, but she's still not as skinny as she used to be. In order to fit into the dress she wore when Carlos proposed, she signs up for Edie's boot camp, taught by a former member of the Israeli army. He doesn't like Gaby, because she's a whiner and, eventually, a quitter. But Edie tells her what a brat she's being and she toughs it out. Then she looks all sexy as she heads to The Palm with Carlos.

Susan has even bigger problems, though: Her kid's in public school (gasp!). She wants him to go to Oakridge, a fancy, schmancy, Chilton-style private school with a white-haired headmaster. She gets him in, but Mike (who's been working long days and nights, by the way) cannot afford it. He can't even afford to buy Katherine real pearls, in fact, but that doesn't stop Susan from trying to steal them. All I can say is nice job on the fake pearls, Mike: You fooled everyone, even ogling Bob and Lee. Ultimately, Susan figures it all out and gets MJ into the school, by getting a job there as an art teacher's assistant. [I've been watching this show all season, and I had no idea that Susan was a children's book illustrator. - Zach] How cool would it be if this somehow brings Jackson back? Maybe he's the teacher? I'd really enjoy that.

Lynette's financial problems are the biggest of all, though. Since they had to use all of that money to send Porter's cougar away and then to pay his legal bills, they have no nest egg. Which they sort of need, now that no one's eating pizza (one of the many hurt industries in a bad economy, apparently). Tom even has to sell his midlife-crisis-mobile. Lynette gets some help in the form of a $20,000 check from Bree. She takes it as an investment in Scavo's, but then proceeds to act bitchy toward Bree every time she says or does anything in the form of advice or having an opinion. Sure, Bree can act entitled, but in this case, she sort of is, so Lynette should probably grow up and stop being... completely out of character, actually. Ultimately, it seems like their friendship is pretty much over, despite Lynette being the one Housewife big enough to say she was proud of Bree earlier this season. This show will just make people do anything to stick to the Mary Alice Voiceover of the Week, won't it? Well, I can take a lot, but stop the Lynette character assassination, please.

Creepy Dave is all buddy-buddy with Tom until Bob and Lee spill that he was the one who accused Porter of starting the nightclub fire. Tom's pissed and punches Creepy Dave, who has been taking his self-defense courses, because Tom's second punch goes nowhere fast. I do believe that friendship is over, though. Then Edie makes the mistake of asking Creepy Dave how their marriage compares to her first marriage. He totally freaks us all out by telling her that now he knows love ends in death. Oh, God. I hope he's not planning to kill Edie.

Discuss this episode in our forums, then see when the Housewives were at their most Desperate in our rundown of their Most Regrettable Movie Roles!