Desperate Housewives

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Money is Not the Root of All Evil

Previously: Mike and Katherine really like each other. Gaby wants to lose weight. Bree's success makes everyone jealous.

A $20 bill floats around on Wisteria Lane as Mary Alice tells us that people don't talk about money in the suburbs. Well, yeah, if you just let a twenty float around in the road, then money isn't a problem, so no need to discuss it, right? Something like that. Mary Alice says there's no need to talk about it, since everyone lets you know: Edie buys a bunch of new clothes, Bob and Lee buy a fancy new refrigerator, Orson supervises as two gardeners make his yard beautiful. Mike has an old, cruddy barbecue, some lady we don't know needs to paint her house, and Lynette's selling Tom's mid-life-crisis-mobile. The guy who buys it is super-happy, but apparently Tom's inside sobbing. Katherine walks up as the buyer drives away and Lynette explains they can't afford Tom's midlife crisis now that they're broke. Katherine is horrified by the word "broke." Lynette blames it on the legal fees and the fact that no one eats pizza in a bad economy (conveniently not explaining how she gave their life savings to their son's Mrs. Robinson), and then asks Katherine to please not tell anyone. Katherine says she shouldn't be embarrassed, since everyone is in the same boat in this economy.

Just then, Bree pulls up in a shiny, black Lexus, all, "What do you think?" Her book made the Times bestseller list and they're talking "three-book deal," so she got the urge to splurge. Also, the $20 blew onto her windshield at the stop sign. She says, "Life is good." Mary Alice tells us people don't talk about money in the suburbs because, when they do, other people get angry. A zoom in on a pissed Lynette takes us to the opening credits.

Mary Alice is explaining what happens when someone on Wisteria Lane buys a new car. It's a simple ritual that seems to involve people standing around to look at it. Edie, Katherine and Gaby are all there, excited to see the new car, and Lynette's there, too, but less excited. We are to understand this since she's on the other side of the car from the excited ladies, so we don't even see her at first. Mary Alice makes a big deal about how some friends aren't really "there" for the ritual, even if they're there. But at least she showed up. Certain other "poor" ladies (Susan Meyer!) didn't even bother. But we are supposed to think the big deal is with Lynette, not Susan. Because Lynette's there, but not participating in the complimenting ritual. Bree shows everyone the refrigerator in her back seat and then is about to show how quiet it is (it's a hybrid), when Lynette excuses herself. Bree wonders what's up, and Katherine quickly blabs that they're broke. Edie also saw Lynette turning her cans in for money at the recycling center, which Gaby says is a half a step from selling your eggs on the Internet. Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that we have Gaby, who's been "poor" for so long, on the rich side of this? [Yeah, that happened real fast, didn't it? - Zach] The ladies go back to looking at Bree's car.

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Desperate Housewives

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