Desperate Housewives

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Money is Not the Root of All Evil

Susan, meanwhile, is in a stuffy headmaster's office with MJ. She is so happy Mr. Hobson has taken the time to see her, since he must be busy running Oak Ridge. MJ is less interested than Susan, spending his time kicking Mr. Hobson's desk. Susan puts her hand on his leg to stop him. Susan heard through the grapevine about an opening at the school, because of some kid biting his teacher. MJ's pulling his hood over his head just as Mr. Hobson tells her they can't tolerate biting. Mr. Hobson tells her MJ was next on his waiting list anyway. Then he hands her the tuition price, which has gone up a tad. Susan's face shows us that "a tad" means "more than a tad." Then she finds out it's already prorated since he's starting mid-year, and she dies immediately. Not really, but she can't hide the shock. She starts shaking her knee, and MJ reaches over and stops her.

Carlos wants to take Gaby to The Palm for their anniversary, but she thinks it's too expensive, since they're still paying off credit card debt. He says that's taken care of since he got his bonus. She's excited, and tells him he could have used this to get sex earlier. Not that she only cares about money or anything. Carlos says, "We're not lighting-cigars-with-$5-bills rich" (is there such a thing?) "but we are headed in the right direction." Is the right direction toward lighting cigars with $5 bills? Because that seems wasteful of money and paper. Bad for the environment and the economy. Gaby tells Carlos she's wearing the dress from the night he proposed, and he scoffs that she can't fit into that. She told him she's almost back to their wedding weight -- "one good colonic away from being the old me."

Tom is red-eyed from crying as Bob and Lee watch him clean up oil in his garage. They tell him they're sorry he's sad. He says the oil is all he has to remember her by, and adds that he called her Foxy -- "do you want to know why?" Lee, sweetly: "Nooo." Hee. Me neither. Thank you, Lee. Just then, Creepy Dave shows up because he heard the car was sold. Tom says that the restaurant is dying because people don't want to buy pizza from the parents of an alleged arsonist. I know that's all I look for in a pizza place. Bob's starting to look annoyed, rolling his eyes at Creepy Dave and Tom. Tom's venting about how he's driving a dad car while someone else is out rolling with Foxy, and Creepy Dave is sympathetic. Bob excuses himself and Lee. As soon as they leave, Lee asks him what was up with that, and Bob explains that he went over discovery materials in Porter's case, and Creepy Dave was the witness linking Porter to the club, the only one who claimed to see him in the back room. Which makes Bob wonder what he's up to, since Porter wasn't even in the building. Lee doesn't know, but he thinks they have to tell Tom. Bob doesn't think they should, because it will get ugly, but Lee is okay with that. [Of course he is. The man lives to create ugly. - Z] Bob says it's none of their business and, anyway, there's something scary about Creepy Dave.

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Desperate Housewives

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