Desperate Housewives

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The Mask

Jackson and Susan are marriage-proofing their house (or whatever it's called when you make it look like you're married when you're not really). He puts his toothbrush in the bathroom and clothes in the closet. Susan tells him to leave the toilet seat up and the immigration people will totally think it's real. She says she has a way that he can repay her for doing this, and he starts stripping. She says not like that: she was hoping for a cake after their quickie courthouse ceremony, because she loves wedding cake. He can do her one better, and throw an engagement party. He says they'll need it anyway, to have photos to put in their album as evidence. She thinks that could be fun, and yelling "Surprise! It's fake! Thanks for the crock pot" at the party would be especially funny. He says they can't tell anyone. When she asks about telling the girls, at least, he says, "No way. I mean, they don't call her 'Gaby' for nothing." Susan says fake marriage is complicated. Jackson knows he's asking a lot, but she says she wants to do this because the house has been lonely since he left. He starts unbuttoning his shirt again, and she says, "Not that lonely." Whatever. It's Gale Harold you're fake-marrying, Susan. Take advantage.

Lynette takes the trash out and finds Tom sitting in his car in the driveway. She walks over and asks what he's doing. He's thinking, and would like her to ask about his job interview. So she does, and he says it went "okay." Until the 30-year-old who was interviewing him asked if he's ever used "Twittering" in a marketing campaign. He says he didn't say anything, because "I don't know what Twittering is." Lynette explains Twitter: social networking with instant updates. He can't believe she kept this from him, but she says it's just something he doesn't care about; it's for young people. Tom gets out of the car as he says he's a dinosaur marching toward the tar pit. She says he's not going to get a whole lot of sympathy, since she just went through the same thing. He says how bad it was is another thing she kept from him. He tells her that 50 guys showed up for the interview, and he was ten years older than every one of them. He could hear them Twittering as he left the room. Lynette says he probably means "tittering." He glares at her for not getting his joke. She apologizes. He tells her he heard a door slam shut today, and that it's official: His time has passed, and he's no longer relevant. She tells him he's Tom Scavo, dammit! He says, "And?" She says she's got nothing else, but he should come inside and eat dinner.

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Desperate Housewives

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