Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | Grade It Now!
Doctor, Doctor! Give Me the News

Creepy Dave walks into Mike's room and says he heard Mike wanted to see him about something. Mike's all, "Right, what was it? Oh, yeah, thanks for saving my life." Creepy Dave says it was nothing, and he tried to do the same thing for Jackson, but Mike says that he left him passed out on the floor like an idiot while Creepy Dave succeeded in his heroism. Creepy Dave says he doesn't feel like a hero, but Mike offers him free plumbing for the rest of his life or anything else to thank him. Creepy Dave turns and tells Mike that ever since his brother died, he hasn't had a really good friend, and asks if Mike can handle that job. Mike says he can. Okay, this just got interesting, because now I think it might have something to do with Creepy Dave's dead brother instead of with Lila Dash being Creepy Dave's possible wife. Could his brother be someone who was in prison with Mike, maybe? But I'm even more disturbed than usual with Creepy Dave that he would ask the guy who's his mortal enemy or something to be his BFF. Creepy Dave leaves the room and literally shakes off his emotion.

Tom's getting stitched and bandaged up with Lynette at his side when the two detectives who talked to Dave earlier come in to ask them some follow-up questions, even though they've already given their testimonies. This time, the detectives want to know about Porter, and whether he might have threatened the club owner. Lynette says she witnessed "a grown man beating up on her teenage boy." She then lies and says that her son didn't threaten to kill Mr. Shilling. She says she was right there the whole time and her son said no such thing. She's positive. The detectives leave, and Tom asks Lynette if she was just lying to the police. She won't say anything, and then the doctor walks back in the room. Lynette tells the doctor to go ahead and give Tom some pain pills, because "he's gonna need 'em." So true.

On the front porch of Casa de Solis, Gaby's crying to Susan, who can't understand why she would be sad that Carlos might get his sight back. Gaby says she feels terrible that Carlos has gone through so much and he deserves to regain his sight to see a wife who doesn't tuck her boobs into her pants. Susan thankfully tells her that most women would kill to look like Gaby, but Gaby points out she's not most women and she was an international supermodel when Carlos met her. The world's shortest international supermodel, apparently. Susan says everyone's gained a little weight, except Susan herself, but you can't go by her "weird metabolism." I'm glad this show is at least pointing out that its ideals of female beauty are unrealistic. But I'm annoyed that Gaby thinks she has to look like a supermodel when Carlos isn't exactly in the best shape of his life either. Just then Edie runs onto the porch to congratulate Gaby on the possible return of Carlos's sight. Gaby's not happy, though, so Susan explains that Gaby thinks Carlos won't find her attractive once he can see her, and Edie being Edie, she agrees emphatically, saying it was the first thing she thought of too, actually. Can she go away again, please? Gaby likes her honesty, though, so Susan joins in and tells Gaby she's a pig. Edie tells Gaby she has a month, which is plenty of time to diet and exercise and she can even look hot-ish in that time. Susan tells Gaby's she's beautiful just the way she is, but Gaby wants her to stop it with that cheesy stuff already.

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Desperate Housewives




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