Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
So That's What Happened!

Then we flash forward, but not far enough forward to be in the present (bear with me here; the timeline's confusing), and Gaby's finding out she's pregnant with Celia. Not happy again. She doesn't know how another "miracle" could happen, and is mad at Carlos for talking her out of using a condom. So she forces him to get a vasectomy. Back in the present, she tells Carlos about her late period as they walk to the party. She's going to talk to Bob at the party, because he's a lawyer, and the vasectomy doctor clearly botched the job, but Carlos talks her out of it by finally admitting he didn't actually have the vasectomy. Ooh! What a shock. I didn't see that coming at all. They show up at Susan's, who opens the door and greets them right as Gaby gets this shocking news from Carlos.

Flashback to another mirror in another home, where Susan's doing her eyebrows when Jackson walks in to get ready for the party. He couldn't find his pants at home, because he can't remember where anything is at his house. Really? You can't remember where you keep your pants at your house? Man, Jackson, you really are just a pretty face, aren't you? Or ... he's lying, because he uses this as a way to tell Susan he'd like to move in, please. She looks shocked, and then looks in the mirror and flashes back to the day she met Jackson. He's apparently auditioning to be her painter, and almost loses the gig when he sits on her bed and is nice to her. Because she's full of herself, she assumes this is his way of coming onto her, but when he tells her off, she decides he can have the job. Reverse psychology! Works every time!

Next thing we know we're in a law office where Susan and Mike are signing divorce papers. Susan's having second thoughts, and Mike can't believe this, considering she's the one who called the lawyer. Susan knows the accident is the only problem in their relationship, and thinks they can get back to how it was before that. I HATE that she says, "We were Mike and Susan, remember?" Because "Mike and Susan" really means nothing. It's not like they're freaking Ross and Rachel. Or even Brian and Justin. Mike and Susan could be any couple on any street in any town in the country. Anyway, Mike thinks the way to make things right is to sign, so he does and walks out. Susan arrives home afterwards, and Jackson's painting. They make small talk about paint, then she offers him scotch. Next thing we know, they're in bed together after having sex. He tells her he doesn't want anything from her other than the sex. She thinks that's a fantastic idea, and he can't believe it. He's like, "Um, hello? Have you met me? I'm super hot?" Or maybe it was me who said that. Oh, and we find out Jackson has a dog, but considering how kids come and go on this show, I'm thinking that a dog will never be seen or heard from again. Susan does want one thing from Jackson, though: Call her "Susan" next time they have sex instead of "Mrs. Meyer." Ha! And weird.

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Desperate Housewives




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