(Gabi makes sure to let us know she's sticking the girls with Lee for the night, as though any of us would even think to ask at this point; Bree grabs a gun from her house because that's like 85% of her personality.)

Paul & Felicia: "Sorry I'm psychotic and focused only on you and your destruction, for no real reason. Since nobody's thrown anybody's ashes in a lake in the last ten minutes, let's go on a road trip to dispose of the ashes of the woman we drove to suicide together. But I still don't totally trust you."

Susan: "Hey, Dick! I won at poker!"
Dick: (Is dead.)
Susan: "I better go the casino and gamble away all the money I don't have, because Dick died."
Dead Dick: "Dead Dick don't give a fuck, you halfwit."

(Bree and Gabi spend about a thousand years running around Carlos's Stabbin' Cabin thinking that he has chopped Andrew into tiny, sexy pieces, despite the fact that this makes no sense.)

Carlos: "...I'll be right back with the cocoa butter, you sexy little... What are you bitches doing here?"
Bree: "Please don't have chopped my son up into little pieces! It's my fault he ran over your mother, which barely harmed her but suddenly means that he killed her!"
Andrew: "...I'm all soaped up and wet, Mr. Cubmassssss... Mom! What're you doing here?"
Bree: "My bad, Andrew."
Carlos: "You ran over my mother? How could you do this when I was just about to flip?"
Andrew: "I'm really sorry about not killing your mom, Carlos."
Bree: "Let's leave before we ruin this intimate getaway."
Random Park Ranger: "Y'all aren't going anywhere. A tree or something."
Gabi: "I'm just glad to be away from my shitty kids."

Lynette: (Some gross thing about getting some of Tom's abnormal penis up in her guts.)
Renee: "Barf."
Tom: "I will never fuck you again, I've got meetings."
Lynette: "But I'm a stay-at-home mother with no skills or friends or interests! My husband and his abnormally large penis are my only reason for living, now that my firstborn sons have departed our hearth!"
Renee: "Such is the way. You manipulated him into providing for his family, and now you have to pay the price."
Lynette: "It almost sounds like you're saying this is my fault."
Renee: "No, what I'm saying is that we're both whores. All women are whores."