Gabrielle: "Hey, Bree! I hope you don't mind, but my big hairy bear of a husband took your recently 'divorced' twink son into the woods for a little one-on-one bonding."
Bree: "Oh no!"
Gabi: "My thoughts exactly."
Bree: "No, not that! It's because he wants to tell Carlos about running over your mother-in-law that time, when it didn't kill her or anything."
Gabi, verbatim and awesome: "Okay, see? This is the problem with sobriety. It ruins lives!"
Bree: "Your husband is going to kill my son! Or fuck him senseless and then kill him!"
Gabi, once again verbatim and awesome: "And Andrew's gay, so it's a hate crime! That's ten more years!"
(Gabi makes sure to let us know she's sticking the girls with Lee for the night, as though any of us would even think to ask at this point; Bree grabs a gun from her house because that's like 85% of her personality.)
Paul & Felicia: "Sorry I'm psychotic and focused only on you and your destruction, for no real reason. Since nobody's thrown anybody's ashes in a lake in the last ten minutes, let's go on a road trip to dispose of the ashes of the woman we drove to suicide together. But I still don't totally trust you."
Susan: "Hey, Dick! I won at poker!"
Dick: (Is dead.)
Susan: "I better go the casino and gamble away all the money I don't have, because Dick died."
Dead Dick: "Dead Dick don't give a fuck, you halfwit."
(Bree and Gabi spend about a thousand years running around Carlos's Stabbin' Cabin thinking that he has chopped Andrew into tiny, sexy pieces, despite the fact that this makes no sense.)
Carlos: "...I'll be right back with the cocoa butter, you sexy little... What are you bitches doing here?"
Bree: "Please don't have chopped my son up into little pieces! It's my fault he ran over your mother, which barely harmed her but suddenly means that he killed her!"
Andrew: "...I'm all soaped up and wet, Mr. Cubmassssss... Mom! What're you doing here?"
Bree: "My bad, Andrew."
Carlos: "You ran over my mother? How could you do this when I was just about to flip?"
Andrew: "I'm really sorry about not killing your mom, Carlos."
Bree: "Let's leave before we ruin this intimate getaway."
Random Park Ranger: "Y'all aren't going anywhere. A tree or something."
Gabi: "I'm just glad to be away from my shitty kids."