Desperate Housewives
Move On

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
Move On

It's morning on Wisteria Lane. Edie leans against a car and looks forlorn as MAVO explains that poor Edie never had any girlfriends and it really made her sad. She wished other women liked her, and never understood why they didn't. We flash back to Edie moving into her house on Wisteria Lane. She waves gaily at the Fearsome Foursome -- who are spying on her as she unloads the moving van -- and they wave back half-heartedly before beginning to bitch about her. Hey, where's Mary Alice? She wasn't dead yet -- shouldn't she have been out there, spying and judging with everyone else? I am also compelled to point out that this little vignette serves only to make the ladies look bitchy. It's one thing to dislike a woman because she hit on your husband; it's entirely another to dismiss her the moment you see her because she's wearing a slutty top. Anyway, according to MAVO, although Mrs. Kravitz was consistently insulting to Edie, she was also Edie's "first real friend." This is having the unintended effect, I suspect, of making me feel bad for Edie. At any rate, now Mrs. Kravitz is missing, and Edie really wants to get her friend back.

Cue the arrival of Harriet Sansom Harris -- best known to Frasier fans as Frasier's crazy fabulous agent BeBe, and to X-Files fans as the fabulously crazy Eves. She emerges from a taxi, draped in an Hermes scarf, carrying a Kelly bag and rocking the Anna Wintour bob. She's Felicia Tillman, Mrs. Kravitz's sister. Edie is surprised by the disparity in their appearance and stutters that she doesn't see the family resemblance. "It's there, it just takes a while to become apparent," Felicia assures her dryly, then asks if Edie has a key to the house. Edie says that after the police kicked the door down, they gave her the key to a temporary lock. They head toward the house and Edie explains that the neighborhood is getting together to pass out flyers at noon. She knows Felicia must be very worried about her sister. "I'm not worried, Edie," Felicia assures her. "Martha and I have a very intense bond. We were connected at the most primal level. And a few days ago, I felt this sensation in my soul. That's when it first dawned on me that something had happened to my sister. And then when she didn't arrive at my home as scheduled, well, that's when I knew she was dead." Edie looks horrified and tells Felicia not to think like that. "Martha's only missing!" she squeaks. "Nooo, Edie. She's dead," Felicia tells her, and heads for the door. I think I kind of love her. "But she's my sister, and I am going to find out exactly what happened to her." Edie nods and assures Felicia that it's natural to "freak out when a loved one is missing." Felicia turns back to her and smiles sweetly. "Oooooh, 'loved one'? Edie, let me be clear about this. I hated Martha. She was a wretched pig of a woman, and the day she died this world became a better place." Her smile gets wider and sunnier as Edie's mouth drops open. Felicia is just adorable.

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Desperate Housewives




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