Desperate Housewives
Move On

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
Move On

At Karaoke Contrivance, Edie is singing "I've Been to Paradise (But I've Never Been To Me)." I don't know. I know we're supposed to think she's slutty and unpleasant, but I think she seems kind of fun. ["Plus that song kicks karaoke ass." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Karl watches as Susan and Mike canoodle, and then there's all this business to set it up so that Susan is next up to sing, of course. She says she'll sing "New York, New York," because she has no imagination. Edie heads to the bar to get more drinks while Mike goes to talk to the piano player and Susan and Karl chat. Karl thinks Susan is going to get bored with Mike. He tells her that even though their marriage was crazy, it never got boring. "Yeah, that part where you slept with your secretary was really exciting," Susan snarks. Karl wonders why he doesn't get any credit for his thirteen years of loyalty prior to banging the help. Edie swings back and sings that he must not be counting "the Hendersons' Christmas party." Yeah, so I guess Karl and Edie hooked up at this party? Whatever. Susan is horrified and appalled and hurt...and it's her turn to sing. This isn't going to go well.

Susan shoots Karl the look of death and gets on stage and starts singing: "these vagabond're an ass, you know that?" she improvises. The piano player stops, but she tells him to keep going. "I wannnnna....just tell you that the affair was one thing, I mean, I forgave you, because on some level, I thought that you were in love with her, but now I find out that you were just groping people at parties...TOOOOOP OF THE HEAP." Mike looks exhausted. As anyone dating Susan would be. Charmed, occasionally, and generally well-loved, but exhausted. Karl gets up and tries to go, but Susan tells him not to turn away from her. She wants to know how many other women he was "sticking it to," and then vows that it will "snow on the hills of Hell before [she] ever feels sorry for [him] again." There is silence in the bar. "NEW YOOOORK!" She finishes. How very Ally McBeal of this show. That is not a compliment.

So the police start going door to door, interviewing neighbors about Mrs. Kravitz. Paul, MAVO explains, began to realize that, eventually, people are going to start figuring things out. So he decides to go back to where he buried the body -- idiot -- and he digs it up -- idiot -- and steals Mrs. Kravitz's ring and bracelet -- idiot -- and then plants them in Mike's garage. Idiot. That last one was for Mike, for not locking his garage, even with all the guns and cash hidden in his house.

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Desperate Housewives




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