Gabby wants to visit Carlos conjugally, but her lawyer thinks he should focus on Carlos's appeal instead. The disagreement comes to a head in the middle of a, yes, chain-linked corridor that bisects the prison yard. The lawyer says some unsavory things to Gabby, and all the chivalrous prisoners start yelling at him to apologize, and then they poke him through the fence with many, many broomsticks. (Because what's the first thing you give a yard full of prisoners? Sticks.) After the prison riot, Carlos and Gabby decide to get a new lawyer, and she winds up with an attractive new lawman with a history of sexing up his female clients. The new lawyer gets Gabby and Carlos their bedtime visit, but also manages to lay the groundwork for some potential future Gabby bedtime of his own. Susan finds Zana, but for some reason neglects to tell Mike. This makes her feel guilty, so she re-locates Zana with the idea of bringing him home. But when Zana starts in with the crazy Julie stalk-talk, Susan gives him money and encouragement to go to Utah to find CreePaul. Little Big P fills the aching hole created by Lynette's daily absence with a new imaginary friend, Mrs. Mulberry, who is sort of a Mary Poppins type with a big black umbrella. This makes Lynette sad and also jealous, so she throws the umbrella in the trash. But instead of getting whisked away by the garbage truck, the umbrella springs free and opens up in the middle of the road, allowing P one last glimpse of the umbrella as it's brutally run down by a truck. This makes Lynette feel guilty, which makes her cry, which makes Tom pat her head and tell her lies about how she's a good mother. Bree invites George over to the house for dinner, and while Danielle and Bree are away from the table, Andrew tells George some cringe-y things about what Bree sounds like when she climaxes (and yes, it's as uncomfortable as it sounds). This causes George to yell at Andrew, but because George is unwilling to say what brought on the yelling, Bree sides with Andrew. Fighting fire with sneaky, George tries to kiss Bree in the middle of Andrew's swim meet, prompting a suddenly chivalrous Andrew to leap from the pool and clobber George. Bree, for some incredible reason, remains blind to George's manipulations and sends Andrew back to reprogramming camp, which was what George was gunning for all along. And Edie? Wears a goofy hat.
Previouslies! Little Big P was mad that Lynette's MIA on the home-front. Carlos could go to the slammer for eight years if the gay-bashing charge sticks. Bree detected that she loves George. Susan told Zana to stay away from Julie, and also it turned out that Zana is Mike's son.
MAVO: "The residents of the Fairview county jail looked forward to every Tuesday. That was the day that Gabrielle Solis came to visit her husband." In flashback, we see Gabby walking through an exposed, chain-linked corridor that goes directly through the prison yard. Which seems...insane. So, like, anyone who comes to visit a prisoner has to walk through the fucking Thunderdome? Also: these are some hard, hard criminals for a county jail in sleepy little Fairview. Though I guess if Wisteria Lane is any example, Fairview is probably the crime capital of the world. MAVO: "The inmates went out of their way to give her compliments, whether she wanted them or not." Still in flashback, we see Gabby wearing a series of ridiculous outfits as she walks down the corridor of taunts and tongues again and again. MAVO: "With each visit, these accolades became increasingly inventive." From beyond the fence, the prisoners act out funny little pantomimes for Gabby, like "Finger-Lick Your Goods," "My Ass Is Like a Genie's Lamp: All It Needs Is a Little Rub (Here, Let Me Show You)," and everyone's favorite "Ride 'Em, Cowboy," where the cowboy is the inmate, and his horse, one presumes, is Gabby. MAVO: "Still, Gabrielle wasn't flattered. In fact, Gabrielle started to dread this...special attention." So she says! MAVO: "Until one day, when..." Once again, Gabby is cat-walking through the prison yard. She is wearing a truly Steel Magnolian outfit: a wide-brimmed sunhat with an eccentric cluster of white, black, and red flowers; a fitted top with matching cropped, puffed-sleeve bolero jacket (both in a pattern of bright red embroidered with white daisies); a black-and-white striped belt; and a tight, red skirt with thigh-slit. The outfit...how shall I put this? It isn't exactly the wisest choice for someone who is "dreading special attention"...unless, I don't know, maybe this is how Gabby chooses to take back the night?