Down at Cucina (the restaurant, not the vagina), Old Vic is hard at work trying to charm the pants off Gabby, but Gabby just giggles and tells him she sees right through him: she knows that he deliberately rammed her car, and she knows that he deliberately left his signature off her check. And now she's is going to deliberately not go on another date with him. Her reluctance to date a very rich and powerful man seems wildly out of character for Gabby, but maybe Zana burned the gold-digger out of her? Or perhaps she just remembered that this guy has a Golden Showers fetish? Vic: "Haven't you noticed? I'm a catch?" Ew. Gabby: "I have noticed, and I'm throwing you back." Vic gives her the speech about always getting what he wants, and now he wants her, and yet still she strolls away. Vic, to the (I guess) waiter: "Bruno? I'm going to marry that girl." What's with this episode? Just an endless stream of marital plotting brought on by all the wrong reasons: pregnancy (Danielle and Austin), panic (Susan and Ian), and now the base thrill of the chase. Bluh. I know Vic's stalkish behavior and astounding ego (girls are expected to appreciate the inconvenience of getting their cars rammed simply because he's the one doing the ramming?) are both supposed to come off as alluring, but really, this whole plotline is just kind of dull; whenever I think back on this episode, I keep completely forgetting this guy even exists. Also -- and maybe this is it just me -- is John Slattery like a humorless, sex-and-pepper-haired version of The Kids In The Hall's Kevin McDonald? Ah, if only they'd actually used Kevin McDonald here, versus just lifting the actor from Sex & The City...that would have been truly inspired.
Carlos's Crzy date night is in full swing, and things are looking very pre-coital. He and Crzy are swigging wine and kissing with much enthusiasm. He tells her how much hotter she is than in her pictures, and she tipsily responds that "so many guys say that." So I'm guessing Carlos found her in the Casual Encounters section? In which case, the fact that she said she "definitely" wants kids in her ad seems weirdly off-topic. They're mid tonsil-tonguing when Carlos's bionic ears pick up the lonely sound of a basketball being thunked outside. Carlos looks out the window and spies Travers playing in the street. Carlos seems worried, but Crzy is far more interested in yanking down Carlos's pants and smearing his face with her lipstick than she is in the child's welfare. Carlos tries to get into the sexing, but his paternal feelings can't be quieted, so he races outside to get Travers, who reports that Edie is off visiting a "sick friend." Inside, Crzy yanks on her coat, saying that she's not interested in "babysitting some little brat." Carlos: "Shh! He can hear you!" Crzy: "I don't care!" Yes, "definitely" get this woman some kids of her own, stat. She takes off, and Travers apologizes for "ruining [Carlos's] date." Carlos, with a big sigh: "That's okay. She was a very bad lady who wanted to do very, very bad things to me."