The next morning, a contrite, sober Edie arrives at Carlos's house. With the hyper-poignant Regret soundtrack blaring, Edie tearfully confesses that she knows she isn't in a position to be a good mother, which is why she gave Travers's dad custody. You know, one of those complicated acts of good parenting that involves knowing how bad a parent you truly are? Carlos gives her a mournful, sympathetic look, and kindly offers to babysit whenever Edie needs help. I know this is the same creep who swapped Gabby's birth-control pills for placebos and cheated on Gabby with the surrogate, and yet...aww. Oh, these two are so going to have sex before the Season sets!
Scavoria. Tom is just putting the finishing touches on his grand plan of forced romance when Lynette walks in and overhears him. Discouraged, and clearly still so, so profoundly tired, Lynette unfeelingly bitches and moans about how callous Tom is for ignoring her plea to stay home and do nothing tonight. Chastened, little-boy Tom agrees to call the whole thing off and instead gather the guys for some poker. He tacks on a sarcastic "Happy Anniversary" as a parting jab, and Lynette looks guilty, but not so guilty that she actually agrees to go out with Tom.
Leggo My Preggo Palace. Orson is all ready to go meet Bree for their better-late-than-never honeymoon when he finds Danielle and Andrew sitting in the living room, looking...well, looking like they've got an unwanted pregnancy on their hands. Orson asks if whatever it is can wait; he's running late for his flight. Andrew: "Heck, this particular problem could wait nine months." Orson, with dawning realization blooming on his face: "Good lord."
Casa Nine-Year Bitch. Lynette is wearing her robe and complaining to Mrs. McCluskey, who's playing cards with the kids (hey there, Evil Kayla, welcome back!), that she just couldn't enjoy her bath due to guilt and regret over her argument with Tom. The doorbell rings. Now who could that be?
Knockedupsville. Orson, who apparently has postponed his flight, is announcing the plan he and Bree have cooked up (over the phone, I guess) for Danielle: she's going to leave town to "study abroad" and have the baby, which will be given up for adoption. And Austin is just going to leave town, without a word to Julie or Edie or anybody. Why does Austin need to leave town? Won't that just make Danielle's undercover absence seem all the more suspicious? I don't get it. Austin starts to raise a fuss, but then Andrew asks to speak to him. Alone.