Desperate Housewives

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Jeff Long: C | Grade It Now!
Sins of The Mothers
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

As we look at a bookcase loaded with a few books but mostly pictures of Bree and her family, Mary Alice tells us that photos can be deceiving (like how Andrew has a barely beard to make him look older). Bree's pic is hiding disappointment, Andrew's rage, Danielle's unladylike behavior. And, the family photo with Rex hid that he had another kid. Andrew is holding the picture of Rex and the young Sam. He is sitting across from Sam and Bree in the living room of Bree's home. Andrew can't believe that Sam is his brother ("half-brother, to be precise," responds Sam. Yeah, let's get semantic now) and we see Orson looking on in his chair in the background. Bree agrees that it's shocking but says that he shouldn't be angry with Sam. Andrew notices her touch Sam's shoulder and says that he's not angry, but needs some time alone. As he's walking away, he tells Sam that he'll hug him later. Bree says that it went better than she expected. She tells Sam that Danielle is coming later and she and Sam will get on well. Orson asks Sam to lock up the test kitchen. Alone with Bree, he asks her why she's so excited by the arrival of Sam. She says that she's ashamed because Rex kept Sam in the shadows. She's going to treat him like a Van de Kamp. Mary Alice says that photos (like certain members of the family, are not to be trusted) and we see Sam listening to Bree's spiel from around the corner. He smiles like he's up to no good.

Mary Alice, still tethered to earthly civic duties, tells us that the Oak Ridge private school ("Private School" isn't in the name, is it? That would be a little bougie, though I wouldn't put it past them) has a candy selling fundraiser and whichever student sells the most candy wins a prize. Of course, for someone to win, someone has to lose. We see MJ sitting forlornly on a bench in the hallway of the school as kids with boxes of candy are walking by. Susan comes by and asks him if he's picked up his box of candy yet. He hasn't and doesn't think it matters because he never wins anything. Cut to Mike who is stunned that Susan PROMISED MJ he would win the contest (personal experience: this is where the parents pull out their checkbook and buy the candy themselves. Thanks Mom and Dad!). Susan explains that he was about to cry and she wants to raise a child with completely unrealistic expectations of what the world owes him. She says that he sucks at sports, card games, and academics. She thinks that every child should feel good about himself and Mike wouldn't understand because he wins everything (Was his drug addiction and subsequent jail stint a prize? Remind me not to compete for that), however, SHE knows losing. Oh God, says Mike, she's not going to talk about the jumprope contest, is she? She is. She was in the finals of a jumprope contest with Barbara Frisco (Mike mouths her name as Susan says it. He's heard this story so many times!) and Barbara had allergies from dandelion season. She was all watery-eyed and puffy and jumping blind, until her mother gave her an antihistamine, which Susan considers a steroid. Therefore, Barbara was juiced, says Susan as she whinily slams her hand on the kitchen counter. She asks Mike if he'll be supportive and he agrees, with the condition that she never repeat that story.

Preston, his mustache and Irina are naked in bed together when Lynette knocks on the door. She's there to pick up laundry. She mentions that she had already made Irina's bed, but Irina says she took a nap. Then, Lynette notices Preston's pants on the floor. She says she'll see Irina downstairs, then closes the door but stays in the room. Porter immediately steps out of the closet and says how close that was. Lynette reminds him that she and Tom have said that they don't want them sleeping together in their house -- Penny is in the next room. Suddenly, Porter bursts in to warn Preston that Lynette is around. He sees his mom then acts like he was just coming in to grab, uh...this little league trophy! Preston bolts down the hallway too. Irina says that Lynette wouldn't have a problem if she liked her, which Lynette tries to deny, actually looking for this little league trophy! She bolts down the hallway of grownups.

Robin and Katherine fall back into bed post-flagrante. They're so glad that they did not nap like Irina. Robin gets up to look out the window and Katherine asks her to close her robe, for fear that if Roy sees her from next door, his heart won't be able to take it. She says that Mrs. McClusky was deemed cancer-free and Roy is throwing her a party. Robin's excited for them to go together, but Katherine says she doesn't think they should go "together." Robin wants to know what their status is and Katherine is uneasy about putting a label on it. She says she really likes Robin, but doesn't want to move faster. Robin gently reminds her that she's the one who suggested they not nap and she was right about that.

Susan, Bree and Lynette are playing cards when Gabby bursts in with Juanita in tow. She tells Juanita to "hit it" and Juanita starts giving a stilted reading of a sales pitch. She's selling candy. Oh, no she didn't. Her pitch includes that she's selling candy so she doesn't end up on the streets, which I think is a nice touch. Bree and Lynette both agree to buy a bar and Gabby reminds them that she bought tons of crap from their kids, so they're going to have to do better than one bar. Susan gets looks from Bree and Lynette, so she tells Juanita to go play with MJ. Then, she explains to Gabby that the girls have already agreed to buy bars from MJ. Gabby says that they can buy from Juanita too. Susan goes further and says that MJ is having self-esteem issues and needs to win the contest. Gabby understands but does not care. Juanita doesn't have friends and needs the prize, which is a party. It'll help her fit in. Neither back down. Bree wonders what they should do and Lynette points out that if they buy the same amount of bars from each of them, it'll be a wash. Why buy any at all? Gabby and Susan do not appear to buy into this idea. Bree and Lynette both reach for their wallets.

It's a party at Mrs. McClusky's. Gabby tells Karen that she was shocked to hear that Karen had lung cancer. She didn't know that she smoked. She never did, replies Karen. You don't have to be a smoker to get lung cancer. Roy tells Gabby that it could happen to her. Nice. Carlos proposes getting a drink, since they're apparently dying anyway. Katherine and Robin enter and Katherine reminds her that they're not a couple. Robin says she knows that they're on a "covert lesbian mission." Katherine just doesn't want to freak everyone out. Robin reminds her that she stabbed herself and blamed Mike -- being a lady lover isn't the same level of mind-blowing. They bump into Tom who says that this is the best cancer party ever. He says that he was talking to Karen's doctor and Katherine apparently made quite the impression. The doctor likes her! Katherine agrees to speak with him.

Gabby catches Susan "Willy Wonka" Delfino selling candy and tells her that doing so at an "I Survived Cancer" party is tacky. Susan explains that the antioxidants in chocolate fight disease. We all should remember that. Gabby insists that the kids are supposed to be selling the candy, when Lee pops up and shames Gabby for selling Bob candy so close to "Speedo season." This show was created by a gay man and that's what we get? Card revoked.

Robin watches Katherine flirting with the doctor. She interrupts and pulls Katherine outside. They pass Roy and Karen telling Lee a story about a woman who died of lung cancer and was a non-smoker. Roy tells Lee that he could be that girl. Remarkable. Really. Robin confronts Katherine for flirting with the doctor and their argument gets heated. Inside, Roy begins to propose a toast celebrating Karen's recovery. After the toast, Karen asks for a moment of silence, to remember those who didn't make it. This is the point when Katherine and Robin move their argument to the open window. There, Katherine insists loudly that enjoying sex with Robin doesn

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Desperate Housewives




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