Julie's still in the hospital this week, presumably, since we never see her. Danny is released by the cops, though, because they never had enough evidence to actually arrest him. Bob's representing him, which causes Susan to act like the selfish wench she so often is. She also spreads it all over the neighborhood that no one's safe now that Danny's back. She doesn't listen when Mike and then Lynette point out that we don't really know if Danny did it. She's sure she knows. So sure that when she finds him out working on a car, she first tells him she knows Julie thought she might be pregnant (which he seems to legitimately have not known), and then she actually lowers the jack, nearly smashing him under the car. Luckily, his mom comes out to save the day. The mom just gets more and more mysterious, though, teaching Danny where they hide the gun and talking about running and changing their names, again, and that's it all her fault they have to live this way. She also threatens the people who are calling and threatening her family. Not that you can blame her for that one. In the end, her yard is trashed and Susan -- after finding out Danny couldn't have done it, thanks to some liquor store surveillance tape -- makes a peace offering and helps her clean up her yard.
Lynette and Tom finally tell the kids about the pregnancy, and the scene is great. Parker thinks she'll be the world's oldest mom, and also that it's gross she and Tom are still doing it at their age. Porter lectures them on having sex, saying Tom will never finish school now and Lynette's throwing away her career. All for a few moments of pleasure. Penny threatens to leave if they're boys. Lynette hasn't told Carlos yet, and then he offers her the senior VP job, which comes with a 50 percent pay increase. She takes it, even after he says he didn't give it to someone else because he found out she was pregnant. They have dinner with a client, who has wine from his own vineyard, so Tom has to keep secretly drinking all of Lynette's wine until he's totally wasted, even telling Gaby how great her boobs look in her dress.
Gaby, meanwhile, has been thinking about John, ever since they ran into him at the restaurant he owns, ever since his divorce settlement. Ana goes to him for a hostess job, and Carlos approves (mostly to test Gaby), so John will probably be in the picture for awhile. At the end of the episode, Gaby's missing him, and looking longingly at some cute mall pictures she has stashed away of the two of them together back in their happy affair days. Carlos still wants to punch him in the face, but Gaby lectures him about how he better trust her by this point, and he acknowledges that she's right.
Bree's still acting all breezy about her affair with Karl, and won't go away with him for the weekend. Until she sees him with someone else, who he's even planning to take to their Motor Lodge (the nerve!). She ends up throwing oil on the floor while the girl's dancing, causing the girl to fall and break her nose. The girl happened to be dancing with Orson at that point, so Orson puts it all together and thinks Bree must have been jealous she was dancing with him. He's so happy, because no one would ever pull a stunt like that unless they were in love with the man involved. Bree realizes he's right and calls Karl to tell him she'd like to go away with him to Las Vegas after all.
Somehow, the Mary Alice voiceover makes all of that about coffee. It might be time to retire the voiceover narration if you have to stretch this hard to tie it all together.
Previously: John told Gaby he was getting married. Bree's marriage fell apart, since Orson blackmailed her into staying married. So she started cheating with Karl. Lynette told Susan she's pregnant, but she hasn't told anyone else yet. Julie was attacked, and Danny was arrested. His mom told him to keep his mouth shut. Susan watched him be arrested, and looked sort of smug for someone who has a daughter in the hospital.
Mary Alice's voiceover begins by talking about how there's a certain type of woman in the suburbs: a housewife. She doesn't bother trying to be beautiful, because it's a waste of time. As she finished that sentence, we see Gaby, who's hair's up in a messy bun (but not an intentionally messy bun; more like a messy clip-up, actually), get hit by some food that Juanita was aiming for Celia. She asks Ana for help, but Ana just increases her iPod volume. It's a tight ship Gaby and Carlos are running. As they're eating, it becomes clear they're at a restaurant, and a familiar voice says, "Gaby?" An older-looking, hotter-than-ever John walks up. He makes small talk and then tells them he owns the restaurant, and he's divorced. He can't believe they have kids. He pretends to see the family resemblance between Ana and Gaby, and then makes a snide comment at Carlos's expense when he finds out she's actually on Carlos's side of the family. Carlos says he'd like some bread, please, and John leaves. Gaby takes her hair down and makes herself look all pretty as Carlos watches, all, "What the hell, woman?!" Mary Alice finishes that this certain woman in the suburbs doesn't try to look beautiful unless she has someone to look beautiful for. And that "someone" is apparently not her husband. Opening titles.
Mary Alice continues that on Wisteria, every day begins with a cup of coffee (as opposed to... where, exactly?). Some need it to wake up (a very sleepy, mussed-looking Katherine). Some have it with their morning paper (Tom). Some drink it on their way to work (Carlos fills a thermos). Some just want something to hold in their hands while they gossip in the street. Lynette, Susan and Gaby gossip about Danny seeming so nice, other than the whole choking-Julie incident. Susan's just glad they caught the guy. Then Bob drives up with Danny and Angie. Susan crosses the street and asks Bob what the hell Danny's doing free. Bob says the police had no grounds to hold him, and then Susan asks if Bob's his lawyer. Bob says he loves Julie, but there's no proof Danny did it. She says what about the fact that he faked an alibi? Angie steps in and says he's a scared kid. Susan tells Bob she doesn't know how he sleeps at night and then, when Angie asks if they can talk about it, Susan yells to the whole street that Angie's son tried to kill her daughter, and as long as he's free, no one on the street is safe.