Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives

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Evany: B+ | 652 USERS: C+
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Cut to Lynette, who's standing in big boss Ed's office, looking over some of his sports paraphernalia. Ed walks in with Tits, who is wearing a similarly revealing top today, this time in pink. Ed immediately reveals himself to be a busy man. He's going to have to make this quick, because he has to take off in five minutes to go catch a plane. He has Celtics tickets! Where are we? If he has to fly to get to Boston then...that still tells me nothing. Where oh where is this town? As Ed talks, he crumples pieces of paper and tosses them into his trashcan across the room, which has a worn basketball net suspended above it à la Bosom Buddies. Ed tells her that he thinks her résumé looks great, and they do some shop-talking. Then he asks her if she's had a lot of copy work experience. So Lynette is a copywriter! Lynette agrees that she has, but when she moved over to "Cenn and Simmons," she got to do "a broader range of campaigns, including TV, radio, billboards." The whole time Lynette is talking here, she's looking through the chic glass wall of the office at Penny, who is lying on Stu's desk and crying. Stu is flirting with someone and totally ignoring her. This sight gives Lynette's delivery a...weird...sort of...Forest Gump styling.

Finally, she can stand it no longer. "Could you excuse me for a moment?" she says, and then she does that funny run that rushed women in heels and a pencil skirt do -- part bunny hop, part tip-toe shuffle. We see and faintly hear Lynette calling Stu an "idiot, and absolute idiot," and then Lynette is back in the interview, crying baby in her arms. Lynette giddily introduces them to Penny, saying "she gives me my best ideas." Tits: "You brought your baby to the interview." Lynette: "Don't worry, it won't be an ongoing thing." Tits: "You bet it won't." But just as Tits inhales to deliver what's almost sure to be a "get out," Ed says, "It's fine. Any chance we can get the little lady to be quiet?" Lynette says she just needs a few minutes to go change her diaper. Ed doesn't really have time for that, and he gets up to go. Lynette: "All right, then watch me multitask." She proceeds to change Penny right there on the couch while rolling out her spiel, about how this is a really good shop, but if they want to take things to the next level, they need awards -- "do some PSA, some pro bono work, whatever it takes" -- and they also need a better website, because the current one is "hard to navigate, it has no site map." Call me old-fashioned, but if a site is well-designed, it shouldn't need a site map. Also? Just hearing Lynette say "site map" makes me cringe, like when my mom once said to me "you go girl!" Anyway, surprise, Ed is totally impressed by Lynette's amazing ability to do the dazzle-dance while simultaneously wiping urine off of some third-party nethers (which, incidentally, is yet another aspect of life in advertising...Lynette couldn't have chosen a more apt audition than this!). "You're in," says Ed. "Seriously?" Lynette asks. Tits looks equally as amazed. "Take the office across the hall," says Ed as he twirls out of the room. "I gotta run." Ed actually has a nice kind of Kevin Spacey thing going on here that very much captures the particular essence of "confidence coupled with ignorance" that typifies a certain type of upper management. Lynette does a "well allll right!" and tosses the dirty diaper toward the trashcan, only she misses the hoop, and the diaper just sticks to the window/wall and slowly starts to slide downward as an aghast Tits looks on. "Okay, obviously I'm going to clean that up," says the newly employed Lynette.

Desperate Housewives

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