Gabby is at the paternity determination center. She's trying to sweet talk a "goth" receptionist (piercings, streaked hair, black lipstick, lab coat) into helping her forge a paternity result. Gabby: "I am just trying to reassure my husband of what I know is true in my heart. So if you could just slip me somebody else's test results, I can make my own." And then she goes on to add, in her patented cutesy conspiratorial voice, "I got Photoshop for Christmas." Goth, looking less than impressed with The Gabby Show, goes back to reading her book. Gabby downshifts into her all-favorite wheedling mode, "Come on, you look like a fun-loving girl. I am sure you've been in a couple hairy situations of your own." Goth gestures for Gabby to lean in. "Just because I choose to express myself," Goth says, pointing to her visage, "doesn't mean I condone adultery. Sorry." Too bad, Gabby. And usually the goth people are so fun-loving!
Gabby is defeated. But not for long! For there, sitting just feet away, is a woman looking at a piece of paper and crying. Gabby misinterprets this as a sign of a sister in a similar boat to her own. The woman says, "I just found out the clinic screwed up and gave me an egg that belonged to some lesbian. It was supposed to be implanted in her lover, and now my husband is freaking out because he thinks our baby's going to be GAY!" That's kind of nice; usually homophobes aren't progressive enough to think that gay is hereditary. "Okay," Gabby admits, "we're in slightly different situations." But still Gabby thinks they should grab a cup of coffee together, talk it out: "Us girls have to stick together, we can't let a little piece of paper ruin our life." And she plucks the paper out of the woman's hands. Smooth, very smooth. Though I think Betty said it better, grammatically speaking, with her "we widows have to stick together" versus Gabby's "us girls." But what does Gabby care about grammar? She has her precious form in her hot little hands. Start heating up that...healing tool, Gabs. (Please Hammer, don't hurt me, I'm just desperately trying to make some Photoshop fun here.) Gabby folds the paper in half and tucks it away.













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