Desperate Housewives

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Evany: B | Grade It Now!

At Rex's funeral. Mike's there; across the aisle sit Susan and Julie. Susan shoots Mike a forlorn glance, and Julie pats her arm. By the way, ladies? This is a funeral. For someone else? Someone that you supposedly cared about. Maybe the whole reversal of the move-in plans (which were premature to begin with) isn't even remotely the point here? You know, just...maybe. Also, Susan? I'm sorry to keep picking on you, but what is going on with your parrot-yellow scarf? Yes, Edie is wearing an insane hat spun from the silken thread of Shelob, but that's just what she likes to do at funerals. It doesn't give you permission to turn your black mourning outfit all whimsical. Susan! SUSAN! Anyway, Mommy Phyllis walks to the casket and looks down lovingly at Rex. And, my word, he looks nuts! Very rouged, very waxy -- actually not at all unlike how he looks in his wedding portrait. Danielle files past, and then Andrew, both of the kids giving very similar inhaled sighs of sadness and then quickly scooting on. And then here comes Bree. As she approaches Rex, her face starts to wobble, and she looks just about ready to cut loose with what I'm thinking is going to be an amazing torrent of sadness when she spots it: Rex's prep-school tie! Oh Mommy Phyllis. Bree looks positively stricken, and a little haggard, too, truth be told. Bree shoots eye daggers over at Mommy Phyllis, who has the decency to look a little shamefaced. Bree pulls herself together, straightens her coat (the top of a very sexy and semi-vintage-y black suit number), and returns to her seat. The service begins. Bree hisses, "What is he wearing?" at Mommy, who pretends not to know what Bree's talking about. "I left here an hour ago, and he was wearing Ralph Lauren." Mommy Phyllis, whispering: "But it's what Rex would have wanted. He loved that prep school." Bitch!

The minister continues with the eulogy. We see some cross-fades of everyone enjoying the service, some shots of a few people smiling ruefully over some piquant tale from Rex's youth. But Bree can't tear her eyes off that tie. The minister finishes up, and Betty starts up with the organ, and the funeral people go to close the casket. And...up pops Bree! "Wait!" she yells, and the church goes very quiet. "Do not close that coffin." Bree turns and walks up the aisle, her head swiveling and searching until it lights on Tom. "Give me your tie," she says. Tom looks around like, what? Me? "Give. Me. Your tie," Bree hisses. Lynette: "Give it to her!" Tom forks it over, and Bree goes up to the body, pulls off the offensive tie, lifts Rex into a sitting position, and puts Tom's tie on him. There are lots of awesome reaction shots here: Tom and Lynette exchanging verrrrry sloooww glances, Mommy Phyllis cupping a shocked hand over her mouth, Edie looking pretty much unfazed. Bree slides the tie into place and smiles and exhales, her body visibly relaxed. She smiles a sweet and intimate smile, and as somewhere a piano plays a few mournful chords, she tells her husband, "You look...magnificent." And now there is water on my cheeks, salty water, like from the ocean. The minister motions for Betty to start back up with the organ playing, and Bree marches with almost military precision, up the aisle, out of the church, and into the bright white light of outdoors.You really have to hand it to our Bree. For the girl who couldn't face the idea of publicly embarrassing herself at the club, she's come a long way...really come out of that shell. And now she just does not give a damn!

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Desperate Housewives




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