Wah-wahhhh. And roll those credits!
We come back from credits and pan in on the famous framed photo of Mary Alice, all covered in cobwebs. Wow, how much time has passed here? They may have gone a little overboard with the webbing; seriously, it looks like Miss Havisham's house in there...though maybe this is some sort of special Halloween decoration? Huh. MAVO: "It's been a year since my death, and a lot has changed on Wisteria Lane." (Everything except the credit sequence, which seems pretty much untouched.) MAVO trills on about how, since she's been gone, children have learned new games, and we see some kids wearing...army helmets and tossing a ball over a white picket fence. I'm not sure I know of this game? And then MAVO reminds us about the new neighbors, and we see Betty and Hotty Applewhite taking down the "for sale" sign from in front of their house. MAVO goes on to remind us of "old houses that had been rebuilt," and we see Edie in front of her almost-rebuilt house with a bunch of construction guys buzzing around. MAVO: "And fresh tragedies had occurred. In one house," and now here is Bree and Rex's "light of Jesus"-illuminated wedding portrait, "a widow was getting ready to tell her friends of her husband's passing." We see Bree, we see the clock. It's five minutes to 9. "But until the time was right, she would wait." Bree's finger taps impatiently on the phone. Not at all surprisingly, it appears that Bree is a "never call before 9" girl. "And life, as it tends to do, would go on."
Cut to Susan, in a hospital bed, her mouth full of gauze. Daughter Julie is perched on the bed next to her. Around the gauze, Susan is grunting how awful she looks, and that she needs a hairbrush. "Yeah, um, that' not going to help," Julie says kindly. Mike walks in with a cop, who's there to take Susan's statement. The cop asks if Zach Young was who gave her the bloody lip, and Mike jumps in to say, "No, she did that to herself. She fell, bit her lip, it was an accident." Mike seems a little "over it" here. Hm. Susan starts to tell her story, but her fat lip gauze makes her completely incomprehensible. So she takes out the gauze and does some painful muttering: "That's Zach with an 'H,' he pointed a gun at me," etc. Then Julie makes Susan put the gauze back in, per the doctor's orders. Mike jumps in to say that Zana has a lot of emotional problems, and Susan makes the loony signal and barks, "Ya, cuz he cay zee." Mike defends Zana again: "Still, I don't think he meant to hurt anybody." A flabbergasted Susan spits out her gauze again: "Uh hello, he was waiting there for you to come home so he could kill you!" The cop asks if that indeed is what happened: did the kid take a shot at Mike? "Actually, Susan fired the gun," says Mike. Again, Susan sputters out her bloody mouth gauze (and Susan, paused right now on my screen, looks profoundly disturbing here, like a hunched bloody-mouth apple doll), and states, "That's because I was wrestling it away from Zach so he wouldn't shoot you!" All the yelling starts the blood flowing again, and Julie asks if they can do this later: "She's kind of a mess right now." Mike says he can probably fill the cop in on the rest anyway, and they retire to the hallway. Hey, what about Felicia? Weren't the cops already after Zana for pummeling her with a hockey stick? I don't really think Mike would be able to downplay this one, what with Zana's growing list of violent extracurricular activities. Also, why is no one even visiting Felicia? We're already at the hospital; how hard would it be to pick up some sort of balloon in the lobby and pay her a little neighborly visit? Julie gets up to get Susan some more ice, and overhears Mike telling the cop that "Susan really flew off the handle when she jumped the kid." "So you're saying this is more of a domestic squabble?" Yup, according to Mike, that's all it was. Nothing to see here! As they walk off, Julie looks after them, astonished. And...it's four minutes to 9.