Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
Evany: B | Grade It Now!

Bree is still sitting, looking at her wedding picture and tapping her finger on the phone with impatience. The last seconds tick down to 9, and she calls Lynettte. First, we hear her apologizing for calling perhaps too early, and then telling Lynette that of course she can borrow that scarf: "I'll press it for you." Then she takes a small breath and says, "Um, I have Rex died." It is very matter-of-fact and weirdly funny. That Bree! Tee hee!

Susan, holding an old-school ice pack on her head. She's sitting in...the gazebo? Gabby and Lynette are there, and they're talking about what happened to Rex. "So when can we see Bree?" Susan asks. Lynette says that Bree's going to call; she has a million things to do. Um. Why aren't they over at her house right now? Are these people really friends? I don't get it. I don't know, maybe Bree was very forceful about forbidding Lynette from rushing over that very second. But still. So lame. Lynette is lamely trailing off with her explanation of all the things Bree has to do, "planning for the funeral, that sort of thing." Looking over Lynette's shoulder, Gabby says, "she doesn't look that busy to me." And we see Bree, all in black, her hair pulled back in a low bun. She's standing in front of her garbage can, and she's holding a carton of soy milk. The three "friends" walk over and ask Bree what's she's up to. Apparently, she's waiting for Rex's mother to arrive, and also ruing the fact that this soy milk is going to go to waste. Rex was the only one who drank it, and she only bought it on Friday. Do any of them want it? The dead man's soy milk? They silently shake their heads no, and Bree says, "What a waste," and throws it away. The way she says "what a waste" sounds almost like maybe, maybe, she's talking about more than just soy milk? I don't know. The ladies pick up on the fact that maybe she's upset, and encourage her let it out. "No, no I can't afford to fall apart right now," Bree says with a pinched smile. Susan wonders why that is, and Bree looks over her shoulder and says, "You're about to find out." A cab careens around the corner, Mrs. Phyllis Van De Kamp is hanging out the back window in an amazing doglike pose. "Breeeeeee!" she screams. Mommy Phyllis staggers out of the car, bawling. "I can't [pant] believe [pant] it's likesomehideousnightmaremylifeisOVER!" she keens and then collapses against Bree. The three ladies exchange glances, and Bree closes her eyes in resignation. She pats Rex's mother with slow, irritated pats. I don't know: I think this woman's reaction is kind of acceptable? Her son died! Why is everyone so under-affected?

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Desperate Housewives




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