As Mrs. McC's walking home, she sees Julie and Danny having a fight. She's trying to explain something that's "complicated," but he tells her it's simple; she's selfish and she can go to hell. They both go into their respective parents' homes, as Mrs. McC looks on nosily, as usual.
One day before the wedding. Bree's putting the finishing touches on the church, where Orson shows up. He says they should take this opportunity to talk to the church about counseling. Bree wants a divorce, not counseling. But he says she's taken to sleeping in the guest room again (well, at least she remembers they have one), which just isn't right. Bree agrees he should have given her the master room. He says that withholding sex isn't going to make him give up, since he went without it for three years in prison. She thanks him for clearing up a question she didn't know how to ask. He reminds her that they stood at this altar eight years ago and made a vow, and she says she has struggled with that, but she's not his wife anymore, she's his captive (what with the blackmail and all). He says he feels bad for that, but sometimes guilt is a small price to pay for happiness. I like that it's Orson's logic that convinces her to have the affair.
Lynette and Tom are at the ultrasound. Both babies have good, strong heartbeats. Tom thinks this is awesome, and totally worth cutting class for. He asks Lynette if this isn't great, and she hesitates a long time before saying, "Yeah, terrific." The doctor goes to get the nurse to clean her up, and Tom asks what's with her. He knows this has been a shock, but it's been three months, and he wonders when she's going to start getting excited about their kids. She sits up and cleans herself off, as she cries that she doesn't love them. She grabs her clothes and Tom just says, "Lynette." She asks him not to look at her that way because if she can't talk to him about this then she's in big trouble. He says this is just because they weren't planned. She reminds him none of their kids were planned, but she loved each of them the moment she knew they were coming, but it's different this time. She sobs that she doesn't love these babies. Tom walks toward her and tells her to stop saying it. He says she will care about them when she holds them in her arms, just as much as the others. She stops crying and says, "Okay," but it's clear she doesn't mean it. This is a sad and serious storyline for these two, which I like. I like them being funny and light, but they're so good at the drama that it's nice for them to get storylines like this.
The day of the wedding. Bree and Orson are walking into the church when Karl shows up. She tells Orson to meet her inside, and she gets into Karl's car. She tells him Orson will drink too much tonight like he always does at weddings, so she'd like Karl to meet her at the Shangri-La Motel at 9. He asks if she won't bail again, and she says she's already booked the room, changed the sheets, and cleaned the bathroom. Ha. So much for spontaneous, right? She tells him to kiss her, and he does. Right out in the daylight in front of the wedding. Karl wonders what happened to the good girl, and Bree says she decided guilt's a small price to pay for happiness. See, show? I think we got it without her having to repeat Orson's line. We're not that dumb.
Susan's alone in her wedding dress, looking in a mirror when Katherine stalks up behind her and says she thinks it looked better on her. I don't disagree. Susan wonders why Katherine's here, and Katherine says Susan might have noticed Katherine's been out of sorts lately and it just hit her why that is. She said, sure, she was dumped by the love of her life, but it was more than that. Her friend, who was sort of responsible for her world imploding, never bothered to cross the street to see how she was doing. Katherine pulls petals from Susan's bouquet and says this friend didn't have the decency to apologize. Susan's like, "I'm very, very..." but Katherine cuts her off and says not here. She wants the apology during the ceremony since everybody in town knows how Susan humiliated her. Katherine's even found a perfect spot in the wedding. After a reading, but before "We've Only Just Begun." Ew. Gross wedding, Susan. Especially for your third, and second to the same man. Since, you know, you technically began years ago. Susan's not going to do it, but Katherine says if she doesn't, she'll make a scene people will still be talking about on Susan's golden anniversary. If you heard something, that's me scoffing at the thought that Susan and Mike will make it 50 years. Susan agrees to do it, but says she's not happy about it, and would like to get it over with. She asks Katherine to get her gloves, which are in the garment bag, then she locks Katherine in a closet, apologizing that it's only until after the ceremony.
As the wedding is finishing up and Mike and Susan are kissing, Katherine's banging on the closet door, finally knocking it down. And if you thought she was pissed before, you should see her now. This is her, "Sorry I'm late" moment from the beginning of the episode. Mike asks what she's doing here, and she's like, "Susan knows." Mike doesn't know what she's doing here, but he's asking her nicely to leave. Because he's so nice, he adds that if she doesn't, he'll drag her out of this church himself. She gets teary and says she's sorry; she'll go. But Susan tells her to wait, and she runs back to the microphone. She says she just wants to say something. Then she motions to her videographer not to capture this part, please.
She says the day Mike asked her to marry him, AGAIN, was the happiest day of her life. AGAIN. (Okay, so she might not have said that second again, but everyone was thinking it.) But for someone else, it was the day her whole world fell apart. She looks at Katherine, who's crying. Susan admits that she didn't care, because, "In that moment, I was a selfish person." In that moment? That's an interesting interpretation of herself, isn't it. Susan said she chose her happiness, but she is truly sorry for changing Katherine's path. Well, technically, she didn't change it herself or anything. She hopes Katherine Mayfair finds happiness and can find it in her heart to forgive Susan. She arrives to Katherine and lowers the mic, adding, "... and be my friend again." Katherine hugs Susan, who says, "I hope that helped." Katherine whispers: "Honestly. It didn't." She leaves and Susan smiles knowingly, like, "Well, she got me."
Angie and Nick are in their room, wondering where Danny went to after the wedding. Angie wonders what's gotten into Danny, picking fights with girls in public (so, wait, they saw it, too?), and staying out late. Nick says, "He's a teenager," but Angie wants Nick to go look for him, since they can't afford to make waves here. Angie says that everyone has to think they're nice normal people. Nick agrees. Angie unzips her dress, and we see a ginormous scar on her back, as Mary Alice begins her wrap-up:
"It's not hard to find sin in the suburbs." We see Bree and Karl in a hotel room, as Alice tells us you'll find people cheating on their husbands. Then we see Lynette as Mary Alice says they resent their children. Katherine looks straight ahead ominously as Mary Alice says they also plot against their friends. Only, you know, not technically "friends" at this point. Mary Alice: "But as much as we like to talk about the sinful things people do..." as Julie takes out the recycling. "...we forget there's a difference between sin and evil..." Someone comes up behind Julie and chokes her until her feet stop moving. Said person runs off, leaving her lying there, apparently dead. "...there's always someone to come along and remind us." Uh-oh. So,