Desperate Housewives
Nice She Ain't

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Nice She Ain't

Susan brings a tray of her famous "mac and cheese" down to the hospital, hoping to jar another one of Mike's senses. And judging by everyone's reaction to the smell of it, it's not such a kitchen success story. The one nurse who recognizes Susan is conveniently out on vacation, and has been replaced by an unfriendly nurse who is clearly already in Edie's tight, tight pocket. Just then, Edie -- wearing a crazy hot-pink pencil skirt and a plunging flowery halter -- comes out of Mike's room carrying a vase full of very pretty flowers, which perfectly match her outfit. Susan curtly asks the nurse what Edie's doing there, and the nurse explains that Edie was there when Mike woke up, and has been there every day since. Susan finally puts it all together, and with a full head of rage-steam on, she steamrolls past the nurse and starts yelling at Edie for poisoning Mike against her, and so on and on. The nurse asks what's going on. Edie explains that Susan has been out of her mind every since Mike dumped her: "Imagine Fatal Attraction, but with a much older woman." The nurse very condescendingly instructs Susan to leave. Susan is all, "But I've been here every day since his accident!" The nurse nastily says that she only knows about Edie, Mike's "girlfriend." Susan starts screaming, calling up that nurse who knows her, the one who's on vacation, and the nurse and some magical security guard take hold of her, the nurse saying something to the effect that she's "disturbing the patients." What, Susan can't just get Mike's doctor to vouch for her? Susan, as they cart her away: "Who am I disturbing? It's a coma ward -- don't you want them to wake up?"

COMMERCIALS. Are you as excited about seeing Stranger Than Fiction as I am? Injure Rogers, I mean. Injure Rogers is very excited about Stranger Than Fiction.

Down at the family counselor, Danielle is screaming about all the horrible things Bree's said and done, Bree is defensive, Andrew is making snide comments, and Orson is saying dad-things like, "Don't you know how much your mother loves you?" The therapist thinks they're making big progress. Where's Dr. Goldfine, I wonder? I guess after George tossed him off an overpass, AN OVERPASS, he left town for a long and very well-deserved sabbatical. Bree gives an impassioned speech about how moved she was by the sight of Danielle's spoon-nicked wrist. Danielle, spotting her big chance, ultimatums that if Bree cares so much, she'll do whatever Danielle wants; otherwise, Danielle is going to do something drastic -- like slice herself with a fork? -- and what Danielle wants? Is that ancient History teacher, "Robert."

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Desperate Housewives

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