Desperate Housewives
No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds

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Evany: B | 1 USERS: A+
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No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds

Susan's house. Ian's only there to pick up his coat, and then he's totally going to leave. Susan: "You had to know that I would go one last time to explain everything to him!" While I agree that she had every right to go to visit Mike and explain things, I think she's completely deluded if she thinks that Ian would automatically be okay with it, sans an 82-hour discussion beforehand. Is Susan really that out to lunch? Anyway, Ian yells at her something about how she already left him once for Mike, which I guess hurt his feelings. Susan yells, "Things are different now, I love you, you don't have to worry about that anymore. God, if we're going to make this relationship work, then you're going to have to trust me..." She trails off once she realizes that Ian's gone all silent and google-eyed: "You just said that you loved me," he purrs. And then he kisses her all up her neck. Her rage dissolves into passion, etc. Whatever, guy who's still married to a woman who's clearly going to wake up from her coma any day now.

Oh hey, Austin. Still keeping on top of the whole chest-epilation routine, I see? Austin is lying in bed with a woman's draped arm across his perma-bare chest. He says, "Look, I think we should stop doing this." And if you're thinking, Oh man, he's dumping Julie after she gave away the milkshake for free?! then relax. Because...it's not Julie. It's Danielle! Austin is half-heartedly trying to end it because he doesn't want Julie to get her feelings hurt, now that she's actually started sleeping with him. Little Miss Van de Tramp: "Me neither. So let's just not tell her." Zow.

Okay so now we head over to what I think is the old Applewhite house. Maybe? Or the Young house? Or maybe Mrs. Huber's? Whichever house it was, Edie (wearing what appears to be a tiger-striped halter top layered over a fuchsia satin tube top...you know, typical real estate garb) is now selling it to Alma. Edie, for no good reason, asks Alma why she chose Wisteria Lane for her nest, and Alma -- who apparently is standing in for Mary Alice for this week's closing remarks -- tells her: "I've been moving around a lot in the last few months, and I need a place where I can really settle down." We see Kayla, standing next to a tree, her arms crossed, looking sullen. Lynette, standing on the porch, looks toward Kayla longingly. Alma continues with her weird soliloquy to Edie about how she wants to live in a place "where people have some sense of moral value," and we see a self-satisfied looking Danielle strolling up the street, fixing her bra strap, with a guilty-looking Austin watching her out the window. Alma continues: "Where friendships are good, and strong, and last forever." Bree and Susan take out the trash at the same time, but Bree doesn't even look at her.

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Desperate Housewives

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