Desperate Housewives
No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds

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Evany: B | 1 USERS: A+
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No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds

Gabby rolls into the florist and tries to sweet talk the woman -- sort of a matronly, mom kind of lady -- into letting her see the receipt for the anonymous bouquet of flowers. The woman sifts through a box of slips and finds the one in question, only there's a note on it: the buyer wants to remain anonymous. Gabby does some more of her patented smiling and wheedling, but the woman refuses to budge: "Do you know how many girls don't get flowers? I work in a flower shop, I've never gotten any freaking flowers! So stop your whining about who sent them and just be glad that they did." Bitter Flower Lady heads into the refrigerated walk-in, and the "Gabby's Going to do Something Idiotic" music twinkles. Gabby locks Bitter Flower Lady inside the walk-in with a broom handle and starts riffling through the box of receipts. Bitter Flower Lady, muffled: "I know where you live!" Gabby: "Oh yeah? Well stop by, we'll hot tub." (For some reason this throwaway line strikes me as very funny.) As you so know he would, Billy Bob strolls in and busts Gabby right in the middle of this slapstick tableau, with the caged woman and Gabby standing there with receipts clenched between her teeth. Gabby tries to explain that she was only trying to confirm that Carlos sent the flowers. Realizing that Gabby is perhaps obsessed with her ex-husband, Billy Bob breaks up with her. Gabby, looking sad but a little relieved, too, concedes that she probably isn't ready to date just yet. Bitter Horndog Flower Lady pipes up that she's MORE than ready to date. Billy Bob shoots her a trapped animal look.

Lynette and four-fifths of the kids are down at the ice cream parlor. (Penny is once again MIA. Maybe she's down at the restaurant with Tom, playing with a saw and some rusty nails?) Everyone is finished and getting up to leave, but Kayla remains behind, sullenly spooning her ice cream. Lynette is running late for Bree's dinner party, so she tries to rush Kayla along, but Kayla responds to the rushing by spooning the ice cream into her mouth with deliberate chameleon-slowness. Lynette smirks at the boldness of Kayla's brattiness, sends the boys out the car, hunkers down to Kayla's level, and tells her that she understands why Kayla's mad, understands that she misses her mother and isn't happy about being "stuck" with Lynette, but the last thing Snora told Lynette as she was dying was she wanted her to look after Kayla. The girl gives Lynette a blank look, then, with demon-possessed calm, she resumes spooning her ice cream: "We can leave when I'm done." Lynette loses it and grabs the girl's arm. Kayla starts to scream, "You're not my mommy!" The entire place goes silent, everyone is staring. This is not unlike the battle of wills diner scene that played out when Lynette first butted heads with Snora. I guess it's no surprise that Kayla picked up a few of Snora's manipulative traits over the years. And, to be fair, she's a little girl, and her (awful, pole-dancing) mother just died, and all she knows about Lynette is that she was the one thing standing between Kayla's father getting back together with her mother. Even so, there's a big part of me that would like to give Kayla a big pinch. Lynette, exasperated, just walks outside and gets into the car. Is she going to drive away? No, she just sighs dejectedly, then she catches a glimpse of her hell boys in the back seat. "Guys," she says, "how would you like to eat dinner in front of the television for a whole week?"

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Desperate Housewives

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