Previously: oh, just all the heartache (Bree breaks up with Andrew), and betrayal (Betty discovers Matthew set up Caleb to be put to sleep), and betrayal (sadly, what happened in Atlantic City did not stay in Atlantic City for Tom), and betrayal (Susan confesses her affair with Karl to Edie), and betrayal (Edie torches Susan's house) from last week.
We open on Susan's blackened home. Susan unburies that famous cheery photo of the Ladies (Bree, Gabby, Lynette, MA, and Susan all smiling, arm in arm) and lovingly brushes away the soot. MAVO tells us that Susan has always believed that there's one silver lining to life's big, tragic events: you find out who your friends are. We flash back on Bree serving a tearful Susan a tray of homemade cookies after Susan's grandmother died. MAVO: "And when the critics panned [Susan's] third book [because critics love playing the heavy with children's book illustrators?], it was Gabrielle who hired the handsome masseur." We see a similarly teary Susan, sitting on the exact same couch, but this time, the comfort of cookies has been replaced by a swarthy man in a wife-beater who is precariously perched on the arm of the sofa and giving Susan's stooped shoulders an awkward and a seemingly very un-relaxing rubdown. Next, we see Susan sitting on her crying couch on the eve of her divorce finalization, and this time it's Lynette who administers Susan's salve: a very stiff scotch. Back in the charred house now, MAVO notes that Susan's friends are once again front and center to help her "pick up the pieces." Bree, Lynette, and Gabby come up to Susan, and together they insist that Susan move in with Bree for a spell, what with Bree having extra room since Andrew's departure. Susan, gratefully: "I don't deserve friends like you." Lynette, sarcastically: "We're aware of that." The ladies chuckle. Just then, Kyle McOrsonlin emerges from the wreckage and says something inane to Susan (while Mike looks up from his cinder sorting to eye him suspiciously) about needing more trash bags. Wait, so the ominous random dentist is in this scene, and yet Julie is completely MIA? Way to shoehorn a random minor character into the mix while completely overlooking a main player who really should be on site, processing her losses. But okay, let's just say that Julie's at school, or flapping her angel wings down at the local soup kitchen, or living on Karl's houseboat or wherever it is that he lives now that he broke up with Edie. (And while we're cataloging the MIA, where's Hempy in this episode? Or, at the very least, where's the scene that shows Bree getting a new sponsor? Or is Bree's alcoholism MIA now, too?)