Gabby has called Carlos over to talk. He's not happy about abandoning their agreement not to see each other for six months, but she proposes thirteen instead and shows Carlos the huge check. Carlos isn't pleased that she's essentially taking money to sleep with a man she doesn't love. "Gee, if that were a job, what would you call it?" Carlos has apparently also never learned not to call his girlfriend a whore. Maybe he should just be single for a while. Gabby says they need the money, and Carlos gets an idea. "What if we didn't?" he asks. So he tells Gabby about his big cash stash. "You embezzled ten million dollars?" she asks him dangerously, and then starts kissing all over him. But then she pulls away when she realizes that he's had the money since they were married -- and, thus, since they were divorced. "I was entitled to half of everything you embezzled!" she accuses. She says this means she can't trust Carlos, and she kicks him out, which is something I might take the time to count the layers of bullshit in if this were a full recap. He doesn't understand why she isn't happier that he has millions of dollars and wants to be with her. "Gee, if that were a job," Gabby shoots back, "what would they call it?" Carlos leaves, defeated.
Visiting day at the prison, and Mike's dad is played by Robert Forster, which is an outstanding piece of casting. Susan gets right down to the questions, asking about family medical history. Oh, and one other thing: "Who did you kill?" Papa Delfino pleasantly tells a long story about killing a workplace rival with his own tie, after said rival poached a promotion that should have been Papa Delfino's. "Well, now you know," Mike shrugs at Susan. So that covers half the title.
And here's the other half. Bob and Lee's Halloween party is in full swing, complete with Oingo Boingo's "Dead Man's Party" on what I'm sure is an endless loop. ["You would have no way of knowing this, not having a passion for Sondheim (THAT I KNOW OF), but they took the title from Into The Woods, specifically from Little Red Riding Hood's song. So...it's not totally random." -- Miss Alli] Looks like plenty of Bob and Lee's pre-Wisteria friends are there, too, if you know what I mean. Bob (dressed as Aladdin) and Lee (dressed as a pirate) greet Adam (Frankenstein's monster) and Katherine (Marie Antoinette). Of course, because it's TV, everyone's costume looks like it came off Broadway instead of getting thrown together from whatever was in people's closets and attics that afternoon. TV costume designers must love these episodes. Anyway, Lee cackles at Katherine, "You came as a self-important queen who lost all her power! Isn't that a bit on the nose?" After he and Bob move on, Katherine comments on the irony of Lee making jokes about a queen. "Aaahrhng!" Adam agrees, Phil Hartman-like. Heh. Elsewhere in the party, Bree (Little Bo-Peep) and Julie (some kind of fairy, I don't know) and Orson (easily the gayest-looking man there in a velvet Little Boy Blue outfit complete with blond pageboy wig) are talking to Andrew, who is remarking on the irony of Bree's helping him Cher himself up after freaking out about finding out he was gay. He still looks less gay than Orson does, mind you. Suddenly, Julie spots Danielle entering, and rushes over to greet her in surprise. "Who does she think she is?" Bree gasps to Orson about her daughter. Noting Danielle's all-pink maternity ensemble and red flip wig, Orson guesses, "Apparently, you." Julie goes over to talk to Danielle, who's totally in character, and Julie says she can almost feel the "fake" baby kick inside Danielle's "costume." In Bree-voice, Danielle lectures her tummy, "We do not kick people unless they're servants." Bree and Orson come and pull Danielle away from Julie and angrily hiss at her for coming to the party. Danielle reminds Bree about wanting Danielle to be more like her, and Bree claims her impression sucks. But then when Mrs. McCluskey in a witch costume is surprised to see Danielle, Danielle scolds her for mocking Jesus and not using a coaster. "Oh, I get it, she's you!" Mrs. McCluskey says to Bree.