Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
Now I Know, Don't Be Scared

Mary Alice sets things up with a little flashback to the days when little Edie Britt used to be tormented by the neighborhood boys who knew she was afraid of frog, snakes, and spiders. But now her only fear is getting left, which is exactly what Carlos is doing to her. Carlos tells Edie that he's hoping she cares enough about him to keep his financial secrets, and she agrees, on the condition that he tell her the truth: "Is there someone else?" Not knowing that she has pictures of him with Gabrielle, Carlos lies and says no, which makes things easier for Edie. Specifically, easier for her to go snitch on him to the IRS. Which, in case I'm not making it clear, is exactly what she does.

It's Halloween, and everyone on Wisteria Lane is putting up their Halloween decorations. And nobody more than Bob and Lee, who have decided to throw a Halloween party for all the neighbors who hate them. Bob assures Lee, "No, they don't hate us, they hate you. I'm the butch one." Which is marginally true, but it's also true that Bob isn't as sarcastically bitchy as Lee is. Sure, Lee is entertaining to watch on TV, but I wouldn't want to live on the same street with him either. In that sense, at least, he fits in with the rest of the cast. Bree is the first one to get one of their invitations, which she smoothly accepts. But things get less smooth when Bob and Lee spot Danielle peeking out through the upstairs window and wonder who she is, if she isn't Bree's daughter. Bree makes up an excuse about Andrew trying on his costume since he's going as Cher, and Bob and Lee leave that much happier. Inside, Bree snips at Danielle for making herself visible, and then further pisses her off by refusing to let her go to the party. After Danielle waddles off in a huff, Andrew asks Bree for help with his costume. She will of course be happy to oblige, since she already committed him to one a minute ago. How sad for Andrew that nobody ever changes their mind about a costume at the last minute.

Gabby is packing to leave Victor's house, while also leaving an answering machine message for Victor breaking up with him, explaining how annoyed she is that he's staying in D.C. longer so she can't dump him in person. Only Gabby could complain about how tacky this makes her while acting this tacky.

Susan and Mike are at a specialist's office, talking about "genetic counseling." Susan overdiscloses that her family history includes arthritis, webbed toes, and third nipples. "Apparently I married into carny folk," Mike remarks, as if that's news. As for his side of the family, Mike says that everyone's fine, now that his dad's on high blood pressure medication and controlling his condition well. This is kind of a surprise to Susan, since apparently Mike told her his father was dead when they started dating. Which time? Susan calls him on it, and Mike fakes an "emergency plumbing call" to get himself out of there. Dad, in case you're reading this, I've never reacted this way when your name came up.

Lynette and Tom are just getting home from the cancer doctor, and both Tom and Lynette's mom Stella are talking about how optimistic the doctors are about the PET scan she just had. All Lynette cares about, however, is a fresh hole she's just spotted in the garden, and she freaks out all over both of them. "I can't believe you didn't tell me we have a possum!" she bellows, and storms off. So now she's a possum bitch?

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Desperate Housewives




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