Desperate Housewives

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Now I Know, Don't Be Scared

Where Danielle is still holding forth as Bree. Bree is just about ready to drag Danielle out of there, and Danielle is calling Bree's bluff, and then Danielle's water breaks on Bob's rug. Bree makes a lame excuse, then rounds up Andrew and Orson to get Danielle out of there and back to the house. They don't think there's time to get to the hospital, because labor on TV always lasts less than one episode. Like all those women we know who claim to have taken forty-two hours to give birth really sneaked off to a spa or something. Orson is ready to try delivering the baby himself, but Bree points out that Orson is a dentist -- and, she now realizes, drunk. "There was punch in that rum?" he asks. So Bree dashes back to the party to ask Adam ask for his help. As she drags him out by his giant costume hand, she swears him to secrecy. "Does this have anything to do with the pregnancy you've been faking?" he asks. Heh.

So then Adam and everyone else are still in full costume at Bree's house when the baby comes. Even Orson and Andrew are still wearing their wigs. Out front, The trick-or-treating Scavo kids are disappointed at not getting an answer at the front door, so when they go around back to look in a window, they of course see a giant, green-faced Frankenstein's monster holding up a gross, slimy, naked, four-month-old baby boy, and freak out, running into the street screaming. Like those little beasties wouldn't have whipped out their camera phones.

Later that night, Bree comes into Danielle's room, cradling the baby, which is somehow a much smaller bundle of blankets now. Note to the prop department: it's the mother that gets smaller after the delivery, not the baby. Danielle's trying to be distant, but eventually, her face crumples and she wants to hold the baby. Bree hands him over and sits next to them on the bed. Bree wants to be sure Danielle is okay, and although Danielle seems to be having second thoughts, she emotionally says that this is the best thing for everyone. "Especially him," she says, handing back the baby. "But you're right," she admits. "It's awful." Bree takes the baby out so Danielle can sleep. After she finishes crying, that is.

Gabby is at home, leaving a message for Susan saying that she's going to be on her own for a while. "Going through some stuff," she says vaguely. Which is really just a way to set things up so that nobody will miss Gabby when she goes missing next week, I'm sure. A car outside honks its horn, and Gabby runs out, thinking it's there to pick her up. She's surprised to see it's a stretch limo, but happily gets in. Where she is the only one in the world surprised to see that Victor is sitting inside, pursing his lips at her. He asks her what's going on, since she seems to have moved out and all. Gabby says it's over, and she's leaving him. Wait, did a scene get deleted somewhere? Last we saw, she was dumping Carlos on a flimsy pretext, and now we're supposed to believe she's also turning her back on Milton's money? Maybe the explanation for this happened in another episode I didn't see. Victor isn't ready to let Gabby go, and she says that Victor doesn't ever seem have any time to talk about his problems. He makes a big show out of ripping a bunch of pages out of his day planner, but she's not impressed, saying he only wants to hold onto her for his governor run. So Victor offers to not run at all, saying it's what his dad wants. "Don't run away," he says, so emotionally that his voice and expression nearly change. "And if you do, take me with you." Gabby doesn't seem unaffected by this appeal, but she 's not as pretty with a big fishhook sticking out of her mouth.

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Desperate Housewives

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