Desperate Housewives

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Mean Muriel (she's everywhere!) comes up to Lynette and gives her a hard time about not picking up some key materials for that school project Lynette volunteered for. Lynette, frustrated and clearly exhausted, pulls out the big guns and takes off her wig. Muriel sucks in air, brusquely says that she thinks she might "give Helen a call," and makes a speedy getaway. Behind her, we see all the Ladies taking in the sad sight of the Star-Trek: The Motion Picture stylings of Lynette's bald, bald head. Felicity Huffman does some great acting here, letting her red, red eyes do all the talking this scene needs.

The Ladies gather in a sad huddle and Lynette explains that the doctor thinks she's going to beat this thing, and the reason she didn't tell them about it was that she liked being able to hang out with them and pretend that everything was like it was before she got sick. But now that they know, all she sees is pity in their eyes. I know it sounds bad, like the most generic, hack storyline ever, but I must admit, I snuffled more than once here. The Ladies all decide that they're not going to keep secrets from each other any more, swear! Except for Bree, who apparently is still going to sit on the story of her dumb bump, and Gabby, who isn't going to tell them about her sham marriage or her thing with Carlos. In short: even in the stark, self-examination-inviting climate of a cancer scare, it's the same old, same old with the secrets and lies of Wisteria Lane.

Fresh from her failed grope with Carlos, Gabby takes another crack at her marriage to Victor. She tells him he needs to start putting her first, and she suggests they go away on vacation, but Victor's schedule is sooo packed with civic duties that he won't be able to get away until April. Gabby looks sad. I don't get this -- it seems like Victor's inability to go on vacation (he is, after all, mayor?) is totally secondary here. Much more to the point, he only married her to get the vote of La Raza -- why isn't she saying anything about that?

Carlos lies to Edie that he's going to go have drinks with the Scavos (lamest lie ever, since Edie could so easily follow up on this one, but okay). Instead, he heads over to Gabby's house for some sexing -- and we actually cut away, so you know that they really did go all the way.

Julie and Dylan (new neighbor Katherine's daughter) go over some photos from when they were kids, but Dylan doesn't remember any of the kids in the pictures. Julie does some probing and discovers that (A) Dylan has this recurring dream about a man breaking into her room and trying to "grab" her; and (B) a babysitter once recommended that Dylan talk to a therapist, but Katherine put the kibosh on the idea and fired the babysitter.

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Desperate Housewives

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