Lynette comes home from work to find Carlos waiting for her out in front of her house. Carlos starts out tamely, thanking Lynette for "patching things up with Gabby." Carlos tells Lynette that it's been "really tough on [Gabby], with everybody finding out about the affair." Lynette, somewhat awkwardly (like, what is this about?), makes some noises about how she "can imagine." Carlos: "I don't mind telling you, it's been pretty tough on us these past couple months." Without taking a step closer to Carlos, Lynette leans waaaay over to give his shoulder a little rub and tells him she hopes that he and Gabby "work it out." Carlos smiles to himself and mutters, "Yeah, we're trying." Lynette turns to go inside, and Carlos pipes up: "You know! Gabby had an interesting suggestion." Here we go! Carlos explains about Gabby's brilliant scheme for him to have a retaliatory affair as a way to help their marriage. Lynette, smiling unsurely, asks him, "Why are you telling me this?" Carlos: "I guess I just wanted to know if you had any thoughts on the subject." Lynette, finally getting it: "I....don't [patented uncomfortable Lynette laughter]...I really...don't." Not at all fazed, Carlos smiles and tells her to let him know if ever she does...have...thoughts on the subject. Hm. I guess all of Carlos's choirboy aspirations have fallen by the wayside, what with trying to have an affair with a married woman? Lynette smiles and turns again to go inside (where, just feet away, her husband surely waits? Carlos? Hello?), when again Carlos calls her back (causing me to cringe, wee-wee-wee, all the way home). Carlos: "That was one hell of a kiss you gave me. You can't fake chemistry like that!" Why Carlos, are you ending your sentence with a proposition?
Zana is in his room, asleep, with a copy of Much Ado about Nothing open on his chest. CreePaul walks in, picks up the book, and smiles dotingly down at his adopted and semi-captive son. But what's this? CreePaul spies the bowling score card sitting in Zana's trash. The names "Julie, Mike, Susan, and Zach" are all clearly written on it. Seething, CreePaul drops the book on Zana's chest and slowly Zana opens his eyes. CreePaul, waving the scorecard: "What the hell is this?" ["Why would you bring it with you? If it was to remember the night, shouldn't it be pressed in his scrapbook, along with a ketchup packet?" -- Wing Chun]
Cut to CreePaul stomping out his front door and over to Mike's yard, where Mike is quietly raking up leaves. Paul walks up to him and yells, "Delfino!" Just as Mike turns, CreePaul gives him a big old sucker punch. Mike goes down, and CreePaul yells, "Stay away from my son!" and then turns and stalks away. A bloody-mouthed Mike gets up and runs up behind CreePaul and knocks him into some flowerbeds. Susan, who's driving by at just that second, yells, "Oh my god!" out her window. Momentarily distracted, Susan drifts into oncoming traffic and a car honks at Susan. She swerves and...runs right into the back of dead PI Ironside's car (making this the third time at least since we've met her that Susan's landed herself in a vehicular smashup -- I'm guessing her insurance rates are truly insane). Meanwhile, dead PI Ironside's trunk? Wouldn't you know it, it pops open! Hearing the collision, Mike runs over just as Zana comes out to help his dad. I wonder how Mike's going to fare in Zana's eyes after the fisticuffs with CreePaul? Though maybe any anti-Mike resentment will simply hasten the moment when the truth will finally be told (about Mike being Zana's dad). Matthew and Betty come out of their house just as Alberta the Cat Lady walks over. Alberta looks inside the trunk and lets out a blood-curdling scream. Susan, Mike, CreePaul, and Zana come over and take in the sight of dead PI Ironside. Susan and Mike look at CreePaul, and he throws his hands in the air, like a pantomime version of Caleb's "I didn't do it!" Still on their porch, Matthew and Betty exchange concerned glances. "Who's laughing now?!" I ask them. No wait, wait: "Laugh, and the world laughs with you, hide a body in a trunk along with the keys, and you cry alone!" say I! And...commercial.